What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What do crows take for their gut issues? crow-biotics.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
What kind of fish do you catch with Gummy Worms?
Swedish Fish.
Which are the best mathematicians amongst the snake family?
The adders.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What do you call an ant who skips school?
A truant.
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
What side does the zebra have the most stripes on?
The outside.
Who is the wasps' favorite singer?
Sting.
What is the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a crab with breast implants?
Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!
Their engagement is yet to be made offishell.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
Tigers are like army soldiers. They both grow up to earn some stripes.
I went to a mosquito themed restaurant.
It wasn't very good, though. After a few bites I got up and left.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
I told a friend that I thought his pet zebra was a fake. He said, “Well spotted”.
What do you call an ant that moves to another country?
An emigr-ant.
I used to own a rabbit, but now he’s just some bunny that I used to know.
The local zoo just started a recycling collection program to support its mission: 'When you bring in one can, you can save Toucans.'
What's a Koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala!
Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the BEAR minimum.
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
Why did the dinosaur paint her toenails red? So she could hide in the strawberry patch!
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
Dolphins don't have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
Who is a beaver's most favorite pop singer ever? Justin Beaver.
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
You have goat to be kidding me.
What does a skunk’s car run on?
Fumes.