What do you get when a dinosaur blows it's nose? OUT of the way!!
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck... It was a camel tow
Why did the bear quit his second job?
Because he needed some koalaty time with his family.
Was the koala able to complete the grueling 26-mile marathon? Bearly.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
Heard about the beaver who can split huge logs with his eyes? Yes, he just saw the logs, and they broke into two.
Why cant a mosquito stand on his feet?
because they dont have mosquiTOES.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
What style of classical music do sheep most enjoy?
Baa-roque
Why is the snail the strongest animal? Because he carries a house on his back!
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
Why do zebras have stripes?
Because they don't want to be spotted.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
What's better than a talking dinosaur ? A spelling bee. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-Try-Try-ceratops.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
Independ-ant.
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
I'm giving away my legless parrot, no perches necessary!
Waiter, waiter, do you have frog legs?
No, I always walk this way.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
What did a duck say to the comedian?
You quack me up.
On one bright Sunday morning, one long lost wolf finally met his longtime classmate. “So, Howl’s it goin’!”
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your Halloween bag?
They can lighten your load!
Why can't college professors take exams at a zoo? Because there are too many cheetahs.
Why don't you want to sleep in the sheep pen?
It would be total bedlam!!
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
What do turtles do when one of them has a birthday?
They have a shell-ebration.
What do you call a parrot that won’t eat?
A Polly-no-meal.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
What's yellow and black and yellow and black and yellow and black?
A wasp rolling down a hill.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
Which dinosaur is pure evil? Daemonosaurus.
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
A crow was arrested under suspicion of murder. The case was closed, as the judge said he had just caws.