What do llamas always say after yoga class?
“Llamaste.”
I tried to phone the spiritual leader of Tibet once, but I was sent a big goat with a long neck instead.
I must have phoned Dial-a-Llama by mistake.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
Sometimes we eat a crow while other times we eat Croatia.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What do you call a koala with no teeth? A gummy bear.
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
What happened when the bear applied at the movie theater?
He was told he was not koala-fied.
What did the deer say to her friend when she needed assistance?
“Could you doe me a favour?”
What do you call a group of crows flying over a couple?
A murder over love.
What did one crow say to the other after the party?
We were raven.
Did you hear about the koala bear in the church choir? Yeah, they say he sings bearitone.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
What’s black and white with red spots?
A panda with the measles.
If a lamb and tiger were crossed, you would end up with a striped sweater.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
Why does the dolphin kingdom never go to war?
Because it would defeat the porpoise.
What are ants made of?
Antimatter.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
I like dillos, but do not support giving them guns.
I would never armadillo.
What do you say when you catch a bee?
Behold!
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
What does a snail wear to go dancing?? Escargogo boots.
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
Where do dolphin races end?
Dolphinish line!
I saw a lion in a bar, trying to pick up a lioness literally half his age
and I'm like "man, you must have *no* pride"
What symbolizes a goat’s family tree?
A goat of arms.
Why are beavers only found in freshwaters? Because they don't like stale water.
What do you call an owl who knows how to do magic tricks?
Hoodini.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
My sister asked me for some spider puns.
I told her to look them up on the web.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
How can a camel walk the desert without getting hungry? Because of all the sandwhiches there.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What do you call an ant that doesn’t get warm?
Coolant.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
There’s caws for alarm.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Why was the Navy Seal sad?
He doesn't like the color blue.
When you cross a wolf and a monkey, you end up with a howler monkey.
The crow decided to dress up as Corvid-19 virus for the Halloween costume party.
What’s a llama’s favorite movie?
Alpacalypse Now.