I told a friend that I thought his pet zebra was a fake. He said, “Well spotted”.
Why don’t bats sleep like the rest of us?
They can't get the hang of it.
Where do flies go for a holiday?
Flywaii.
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
What is a deer’s favorite after-school snack?
“Doe-nuts.”
Q: What’s a tiger’s favorite color?
A: Roar-range.
What did the Inuit say to to Englishman After he wanted some seal?
"I've got Nunavut."
What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
Why did the bat walk in her pijamas to take a bath?
Because she did not have a bat robe.
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
How do you get yarn out of a snake?
Wait until it sheds its skein.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making
by making you an otter you can't defuse.
Who in the hell names their son “Tiger” ?
Only people in the Woods’
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What do you call an elephant with an aerial on his head?
An elephant-enna.