How do you invite a dinosaur for lunch?
Tea, Rex?
How do you plan to shell-ebrate the New Year?
What's a bats favorite desert? I-Scream!
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk?
Dirty looks from the mouse!
What do you call a happy rabbit? An Hop-timist.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
What do you call it when a raven marries a crow? A conspiracy to commit to murder.
If a crab worked in a pizza parlor, which station would it work?
The crust station.
Why was the crow on the telephone wire? To make a long-distance caw.
What's a goat's favorite organ?
A Kid-ney
In order to be efficient, I named my parrots Roger, Gene, and Mick.
Two Byrds, one Stone.
What is a koala’s favorite soft drink? Koka-Koala, of course!
What do you call a white crow?
A caw-casian.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo ? A Tricera-hops!
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Flamingos are pretty daring birds. They like just about anything, as long as it’s eggs-citing.
What our parents tortoise was to be kind to each other.
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toad!
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Where does a lobster keep its clothes?
In the clawset!
What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives but a frog croaks every night.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
I have the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
What does the like to parrot wear to the beach? A beak-ini!
What do you call a nervous baby ant?
A little antsy.
What do you call a otter that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Beaver Y.
Beaver Y. who?
Bea-ver-y quiet, you are in a library.
I’m putting an official ban on rabbit puns. They are not bunny anymore.
How does a koala get from one place to another? On a gondkoala.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
Why do snakes always measure in inches?
Because they don’t have any feet.
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
Whats in a camels favorite cup of tea?
Camelmile
Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?
Because they believed in gibbon take.