What do you call it when a sloth eats a second plate of food?
Slothy seconds
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What does a snail wear to go dancing?? Escargogo boots.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
Morse toad.
Did you hear about the owl who married a goat?
The had a hootenanny.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
What's a bats favorite desert? I-Scream!
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
What are unsolved murders called when it happens in a society of crows? Murder mysteries.
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
The zookeeper told me I wasn’t allowed to buy the animals so I asked why the zebra had a barcode.
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk?
Dirty looks from the mouse!
How do you write a book about bats? With a ghostwriter.
What do you call a panda who’s lost his dinner?
Bamboozled.
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What do you call a maternal Turkish robot water weasel?
An Ottoman otter-mom automaton.
Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief?
Because he wanted his diamondback.
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
How did the sheep farmer become best in his field?
Shear luck.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
What do llamas always say after yoga class?
“Llamaste.”
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
Why was the Pirate sad when his parrot left him?.
It gave him the cold shoulder.
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
What is a parrot's favourite colour shade?
Polly-chromatic
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Q. Where do Midwest does prefer to give birth?
A. Deerborn, Michigan.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished.
What do you call an ant that doesn’t sink?
Bouy-ant.
Where does a baby monkey sleep?
In an apricot.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
How did the beaver introduce his wife? This is my significant otter.
What do you give a sick snake?
Asp-rin.
What did the deer say after she did her friend a favor?
“You doe me!”