What is the maggot army called? The Apple Corps.
Where do rabbits work? At IHOP restaurants!
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.
How long has this been going on?
Since I was a kid.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
Why are frogs good at baseball?
Because they catch a lot of fly balls.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
Which color is a zebra's base color? The debate is endless, and there is no clear answer.
It both is and isn't a black-and-white issue.
Why did the bear quit his job at the daycare center?
It was panda-monium.
What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this?
I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep!
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a python."
"Oh you can’t get round me like that, you know."
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?
Mouse code!
Crows have 16 feather pinions and ravens have 17 pinions. It's just a matter of a pinion.
Tigers are probably the most roarsome animal ever created!
Where did the duck go when he was sick? A:
To the ducktor.
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
When I was younger, I dressed up as a frog and robbed a bank.
That was the first time that I Kerm-itted a crime.
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken.
What is the camels’ favorite nursery rhyme?
Humpty dumpty.
What’s a rabbit’s favorite game? Hopscotch!
What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
Morse toad.
Why are houseflies great at arithmetics? Because they multiply really fast.
What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
Star Warts.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
One of my friends who hates crows, looked at a flock of crows, I saw murder in his eyes.
What is a koala’s favorite type of fruit? Bearies.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron