Who cleans all the mess created by beavers after their beach trip? Mer-maids.
Looking after more than one elephant at a time requires the ability to multi-tusk.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What kind of cheese do rodents like?
Mousearella.
What kind of bugs live in clocks? Ticks!
Why don't squirrels have any friends?
Because they drive everyone nuts.
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
Why did the rabbit like the adventure? It was a “hare-raising tail.”
What game do little bats like to play?
Batty fight.
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
Why do cows have no money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
What animals were last to leave the ark?
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks.
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words.
What do you call a food stamp inside of a burrito? An otter fortune cookie
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses.
What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A tiger moth.
How do you plan to shell-ebrate the New Year?
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What’s the difference between a fly and an eagle?
An eagle can fly but a fly cannot eagle.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
How did the beaver build the insides of a dam using logs? He logged in.
What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
I have no idea how I goat here.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
Why are tigers striped? Because they never want to be spotted.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What would a crow wear to the Halloween party? A crown!
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What do you call a dinosaurs fart? "A blast from the past"
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What is serial killer Buffalo Bill's favorite fast food restaurant?
Chick Fillet.