Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Zebras usually hold strong opinions. They are very black and white creatures.
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
When is a car like a frog?
When it's being toad.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
Why do dinosaurs eat their food raw? Cause they don't know how to cook
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What did the Inuit say to to Englishman After he wanted some seal?
"I've got Nunavut."
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
Why do snakes always measure in inches?
Because they don’t have any feet.
What is a three toed sloth's favorite kind of chip?
Fritos.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
No, I'm not concerned about crows infesting my house...
It's actually just a mynah problem.
Why did the giant ape climb up the side of the skyscraper?
Because the elevator was broken.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
Is a mountain goat a hillbilly?
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your Halloween bag?
They can lighten your load!
A guy walks into a crow bar
It's a murder scene
What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What do you call monkeys who share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
A lion would never play golf.
But a Tiger Wood.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case.”
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.
They are looking for a cereal killer.
What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent.
What do get if you cross a duck and Santa?
A Christmas Quacker.