What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
Why did the elephant start the stampede?
Because it wanted to be herd.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
What do dinosaurs put on their pizza? Tomato-saurus
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
Flamingos do annoy each other sometimes. Apparently this is because they enjoy ruffling feathers.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
There is nothing impaws-sible if you’re as brave as a tiger!
What's a Koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala!
What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling at Christmas?
Mistletoad.
What do you call an otter with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
How do lions greet people?
"Pleased to eat you!"
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
Just a buffalo laying down, bisoness as usual.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
Why are bunnies always tired in April? Because they just finished a March.
Did you hear about the doctor who was practicing bee venom therapy without a license?
He was arrested in a sting operation.
What do you call an ant who won’t go away?
Perman-ant.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
Why do pandas love watching classic movies?
Because they are in black and white.
What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? Try Sara's Tops
What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met!
I don’t know why everyone is so upset about untraditional family structures, it’s been happening in the animal world for years. For example, all water buffalos have three parents.
One oxygen buffalo and two hydrogen buffalos.
Why did the magician have to cancel his show? Because he just washed his hare and couldn’t do a thing with it.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Baa dum tssssss.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
Which Halloween treat is going to keep a crow up all night? A crowfee apple.
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
A teacher asks the class to name six mammals that you might find in Africa. One of the pupils replies, “five zebras and a lion”.
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
What do dinosaurs have that no other animals have? Baby Dinosaurs.
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
Why did the koala bear eat so much eucalyptus? He simply couldn’t leaf it alone.
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ? Cheer him up!