What did one frog say.to the other?
Time's sure fun when you're having flies.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What's a goat's favorite organ?
A Kid-ney
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
What do you call a mouse with no balls? Optical. What is a mouse's favorite record? 'Please cheese me'!
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What do you get when you sit under a cow?
A pat on the head.
What do you get when two giraffes run into each other?
A giraffic jam.
What do you call an bat with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
What game do little bats like to play?
Batty fight.
The inventor of mosquito repellent likely did not know where to begin...
I guess he would have to start from scratch.
Q. Which Greek eggplant dish do deer really eat up?
A. Moose-aka.
What's the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One's awake in the night and the other's a wake in the day.
What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
Beavers are the best at getting things done on riverbanks. They have their own waves of working.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot? Sir.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, 12 claws on each foot and a personal stereo over his ears? Anything you like, he won't hear you!
The builder beaver decided to launch a new liquid dam-building product, but the market was too saturated.
Why don’t giraffes do drugs?
Because they’re naturally high.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What did the baby mosquito say after his first flight?
“Mama, mama! Did you see that? Everyone was clapping for me!”
How can you hear the sounds of a group of dolphins?
Listen to their podcast.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
Which condiment is a mouse’s favourite?
Mouse-tard.
Who is the worm's Prime Minister? Maggot Thatcher.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Because her children weren’t that bright !
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
Which dinosaur slept all day ? The dino-snore!
When you cross a wolf and Fred Astaire, you get dances with wolves.
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
What do you say when you catch a bee?
Behold!
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
I once tried crossing a flamingo with a cement mixer. Sounds crazy, but I really wanted a good brick layer.