What does a goat call his girlfriend?
Bae.
Where are koalas taken when they die? To an ancient bearial site.
It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.
How long has this been going on?
Since I was a kid.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
Did you hear about the short-sighted frog?
He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.
I do wonder why my flamingo friends always do so well in tests and exams. After all, they always just wing it.
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance? The bunny hop.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Who dosent eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What do you call a panda who’s lost his dinner?
Bamboozled.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
I've just got a new job as a nursery rhyme cow.
I'm over the moon.
What do you call a turtle chef?
A slow cooker.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I would teach it to say is "Help, they've turned me into a parrot!"
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
What do frogs drink?
Croak-a-cola.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
What do you call a funny parrot spoof
A parody
Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
The phone rings, and a crow picks it only to find out it’s for her husband. She then says: "Hey John, you have a phone caw."
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
Why do mice need oiling ?
Because they squeak !
What do you call Spider-Man at his full potential
Petest Parkest.
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
What’s the sequel to that?
Fuller mouse!
What do you get when your cross a bear and a tiger?
A bear and a tiger seeking revenge.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
The farmer cried wolf when all his three pigs were mauled by the jungle wolf.
Did you heard about the zombie crow? He wants to eat your grains.
In the Camel Kingdom, the king and his family live in the Camelot castle.
Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court …
The game would be cancelled.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
Have you ever seen a fish cry?
No, but I’ve seen a whale blubber.
What does a ghost panda eat?
BamBOO!
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.