What do you call a famous turtle?
A shell-ebrity.
I saw a beaver and I thought it was odd. Then I saw another semiaquatic creature and I thought it was otter.
What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a loud sleeper? A Snore-a-sorus
A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"
Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
What did the llama say when he was invited to the picnic?
Alpaca lunch.
Where’s a dolphin’s favorite place to drink?
A dive bar!
What do you call an ant with big hair?
Bouff-ant.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
Why are beavers so good in maths? They love log'arithms.
What does the mouse say to its mate? "Were like crackers and cheese"
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
What did the bat say to the friend who itched and squirmined?
Come back when you have washed out the virmin.
What's the difference between Cloepatra and King Arthur?
One had Camelot and one had a lot of camels.
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
Why are tigers striped? Because they never want to be spotted.
What do you call an owl dressed in armor?
A knight owl.
Q: What do tigers and computers have in common?
A: They both have mega bites.
What do you call a goat on a mountain?
Hillbilly.
Have you ever seen a fish cry?
No, but I’ve seen a whale blubber.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
My pet turtle died.
I'm not upset - just shell-shocked.
Whoever lives by the sword shell die by it.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
What goes eek, eek, bang?
A mouse in a minefield!
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road ? The chicken hadn't evolved yet!
What do dinosaurs put on their pizza? Tomato-saurus
Wolfs are named after lots of things around and about them. For instance, lumberjack wolfs are known as timber wolfs.
What do you get when a dinosaur blows it's nose? OUT of the way!!
If there's a bee in my hand, then what's in my eye?
Beauty.
Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
It was reported that a tiger recently exploded in the forest fire. They say it was a Royal Bang-al Tiger.
What is a medieval owl called?
A knight owl.
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws.
What game do little bats like to play?
Batty fight.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.