What problem did the young bat experience?
The hangout.
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
Why are two parrots better than one? One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan!
A priest, a rabbit and a deacon walk into a blood bank.
"I think I might be a type o." said the rabbit.
Beaver jokes
Can be pretty dam funny.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What’s an elephant’s secret talent?
They’re great at multi-tusking.
An otter and an otter are in a car, who's driving? Animal Control
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
What is a worm's favorite band? Mud.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
What is a dinosaurs least favorite reindeer? Comet.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
A camel can work all week without drinking..
A man can drink all week without working.
A priest is the best catch for a tiger as they like to prey.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
You can catch a lot of flies with honey
But you'll catch more honeys being fly.
Where do rabbits learn how to fly? In the hare force!
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
What do llamas say when you tell them something obvious?
“No spit, Sherlock.”
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
Why does the dolphin kingdom never go to war?
Because it would defeat the porpoise.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
Did you hear about the bird that couldn’t pass environmental legislation?
He was a lame duck.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
What do you call a stampeding herd of llamas?
The alpacalypse.
A werewolf that is confused on what to wear is not a dumb one, instead it is a what-to-wear-wolf.
Why was the crow upset about his job? The HR fired the crow with no caws.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
What’s a llama’s favorite drink?
Llamanade.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
I hate getting into arguments with farmers about the best methods for keeping crows away.
They always resort to straw man arguments.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
How does a koala get from one place to another? On a gondkoala.
What did the eye witness say about the camel who was using the bushes as a lavatory?
I saw the hump take a dump in a clump
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
Can birds sell cereal to children?
I don't know if one can, but toucan.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
A week after the werewolf swallowed the farmer’s clock, it had ticks all over.