Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
A werewolf that is confused on what to wear is not a dumb one, instead it is a what-to-wear-wolf.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What did the deer say to his friend during their night in the woods?
This is so much fawn!
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
What do you call a snake that informs the police?
A grass snake.
The Easter Bunny won’t be making his usual rounds this year. He’s laid up with a hareline fracture.
Waiter, waiter, do you have frog legs?
No, I always walk this way.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
Hopera.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
The hipster beaver denied swimming in the river. He said it was too main-stream.
Scientists transformed a tiger into a horse.
Don't worry, it's in a stable condition.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
Why don’t dolphin do well on school tests?
Because they work below C-Level!
What’s striped and bouncy?
A tiger on a pogo stick!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
Where’s a dolphin’s favorite place to drink?
A dive bar!
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
Elephants will toil all day, and they work for peanuts.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once.
It had its ups and downs.
What do you call an owl with a deep voice?
A growl.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
What happened when the tiger ate the comedian?
He felt funny!