When you cross a sheep and a wolf, you will end up with a new sheep, you can’t make such a costly mistake with wolves.
How do you catch a rich squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a cashew.
Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
How do you save a drowning mouse ?
Use mouse to mouse resuscitation !
What's a frog's favorite game?
Croak-et.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
Where do koalas go to settle legal matters? A kangaroo court!
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
Did you hear about the rabbit who refused to leave her house? She was having a bad hare day.
What do you call a spider with ten eyes?
A spiiiiiiiiiider.
Why did the lion cross the road? Because he saw a zebra-crossing...
Grandma runs the kitchen like a turtle-tarian; give her some space there.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What did the Easter bunny say about the Easter parade?It was eggs-cellent.
Did you hear about the birds of prey on black Friday?
It was a free for owl.
A priest is the best catch for a tiger as they like to prey.
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What do you call a Blind Dinosaur's Dog? Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.
Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers? Because he is a meat eater!
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
What do Chinese bears eat for breakfast?
Panda-cakes!
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them? Mice Krispies!
How do llamas say “Merry Christmas” in Spanish?
Fleece Navidad.
A sunburned murder of crows is referred to as 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree.
What do you get when you cross two fish with two elephants?
A pair of swimming trunks.
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
What Did The Duck Say When The Waitress Came?
Put it on my bill!
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
What does the mummy parrot say to her baby? Beak-areful!
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
What do you call monkeys who share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
A female sheep and a couple of aggressive birds are sitting on the veranda. What language do they speak?
Porchewegeese.