Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
Why are tigers said to be religious? Because they frequently prey with all their family members.
Why are frogs so good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
Where do Egyptians seal away their drugs?
In a narcophagus.
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
When is a car like a frog?
When it's being toad.
What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera.
What makes a glow worm glow?
A light meal!
Q: What time is it when a tiger walks into the room?
A: Time to get out of the room.
I went to a mosquito themed restaurant.
It wasn't very good, though. After a few bites I got up and left.
What do you call a rabbit housekeeper? A dust bunny.
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He’s the Easter Bungee!
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
The mossbacks could not connect with the new developments, so the bill was hot
down at the senate.
What’s striped and bouncy?
A tiger on a pogo stick!
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
It may seem a bit corny but we appreciate you working your tail off for us.
Jellyfish and peanut butterare sea turtles favorite sandwich.
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
What's green, green, green, green, green?
A frog rolling down a hill.
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
What do you call a mouse with no balls?
Optical.
You must be the Easter Bunny, because you’ve got me all egg-cited.
What did the grape say when the bat squished on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Why are tigers striped? Because they never want to be spotted.
Our local winery recently starting using a flock of sheep to keep the grass from getting too long.
At least that's what I herd through the grapevine.
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Why wasn't the hunter allowed to bring his antelope and buffalo with him on the plane?
You're only allowed one carrion.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
Had beaver curry last night.
Bit like a normal curry, just a little otter.
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
The gang of crows used a crowbar to break into the house.
Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
What did the duck eat for snack?
Salted Quackers.
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.