Why are crows so interesting?
Just beCAWse
I had a bet on a giraffe race yesterday but my selection lost.
It was nowhere near winning – it lost by a neck.
How do you measure the circumference of a Sheep?
Shepherds Pie
What do dolphins need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
A flying turtle is called a shellicopter.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What does Miley Cyrus eat at Christmas? Twerk-ey!
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
Flamingos are pretty good at ideas… They have a lot of experience with formation.
What does a beaver from Philly drink?
Wooder.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
What do you get if cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle-neck jumper.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
Why was the crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed.
And the collective nouns go: a murder of crows, a herd of cows, a migraine of children.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
What's a bats favorite desert? I-Scream!
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
What is the biggest ant in the world?
An elephant.
Why did the bat break up with her girlfriend?
She thought she was a pain in the neck.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do llamas always say after yoga class?
“Llamaste.”
If you see a wasp, don't kill it. Let it bee.
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
Some see a puddle of mosquito larva.
I see a pool of enbitenment.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
What did the beaver say to the river? Meet me around the bend.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
Why did the tiger visit the eye specialist after dropping a can of red paint on himself? He saw red.