What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toad!
What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
Never trust a flamingo unless you can be sure it has fully fledged ideas.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
What says “Quick, Quick”?
A duck with the hiccups
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Because they got turtle recall, turtles never forget.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
What’s black and white, has eight wheels and travels very fast?
A panda on roller skates.
I started dating a girl I really like. She's really into bees.
I think she's a keeper
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
I have so many Easter puns, it’s not even bunny.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
What do you call an owl who knows how to do magic tricks?
Hoodini.
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox.
Two goats are married, living on a farm. Billy Goat says, "I really want children. Let's make some babies."
Betty Goat responds, "Heck no. No baby goats for me..."
"I'm not kidding."
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
The public investigated a box full of crows because it was a murder case.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
When a dinosaur gets a goal in a soccer tournament, it is known as a dino-score.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
When you cross a wolf and Fred Astaire, you get dances with wolves.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What did the beaver mention to a tree? It has been nice gnawing you.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
Star Warts.
Grandma runs the kitchen like a turtle-tarian; give her some space there.
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
Why do zebras have stripes?
Because they don't want to be spotted.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.