Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
On Halloween night a group of crows decided to enact a scene from the play Julius Ceaser, they were enacting the caw-nspiracy scene.
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
Why isn't the the koala a real bear? He doesn't have the right koalifications.
Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds? Yes, 8 Iguanadons and 2 Stegasaurus.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
What do Chinese bears eat for breakfast?
Panda-cakes!
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
Why don’t dolphins have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
Why did they take Polly away?
He went crackers!
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What did the duck do after he read all these jokes?
He quacked up.
Once you've seen one Lion eat a Giraffe...
You've seen a maul!
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels? Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
Why did the guy kill the fly?
It was bugging him.
How do you catch a unique tiger?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame tiger?
Tame way.
What do mountain climbers share around the campfire?
Goat Stories!
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
How does an otter get into an honest business? Usually through the skylight.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?
"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"
I'm giving away my legless parrot, no perches necessary!
A beaver's tail makes them look odd.
But without it they would look otter.
What do zebras hold?
Ze boobs.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large chested crab?
One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean
When you cross a sheep and a wolf, you will end up with a new sheep, you can’t make such a costly mistake with wolves.
What is a three toed sloth's favorite kind of chip?
Fritos.
Scientists transformed a tiger into a horse.
Don't worry, it's in a stable condition.
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What’s a bats favorite desert?
I-Scream!
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks!
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
All the girls I meet keep thinking I’m a sheep.
Every time they see me they say “Ewe”
What will you get if you cross an ice bear and a running tiger? Frostbite.
What do you call a 100 year old ant?
An ant-ique.
Can birds sell cereal to children?
I don't know if one can, but toucan.
What does a monkey wear while cooking?
An ape-ron.
Who called it a goat petting zoo...
and not Close Encounters of the Herd Kind?