What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
Flamingos are known by a different name when they dress up to go out – they call themselves glamingos.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
What do rodents say when they play bingo?
‘Eyes down for a full mouse’!
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth!
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
What happens when fish start an addiction to worms?
They get hooked.
To the person who stole my coffee, my lamp, and my parrot…
I don’t know how you sleep at night.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
What do you say to a bee that bothers you?
"Buzz off!"
Whats the preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.
Where do koalas go to settle legal matters? A kangaroo court!
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
Dad: Where do desert nomads buy their camels?
Son: I dunno. Where?
Dad: at Camelot.
What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball?
A home run.
The turkey says, "gobble, gobble."
I appreciate it when food comes with instructions.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
A group of crows drooling over a pastry is called a-tempted murder.
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
What type of food do worms like?
Your Halloween Candy!
A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.
But a dino might.
What's worse than lobsters on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation? To the dino-shore.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
Why did the giraffe graduate early?
He was head and shoulders above the rest of the class.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
Did you hear about the birds of prey on black Friday?
It was a free for owl.
What's white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog.
Why did the otter cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Why did the chicken go to the zoo?
To get to the otter slide.
A bear covered in a bunch of crows gives the picture of a grizzly murder.
A lobster's favorite shot in tennis?
The lob.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
When one of them have a birthday, turtles call for a shell-ebration.
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home? Where in earth have you been.
Why Was The Teacher Annoyed With The Duck?
Because he wouldn't quit quackin' jokes!
Heard about the devoted beaver who crossed the turbulent river? He took a leap of faith!
What do you get when you sit under a cow?
A pat on the head.