What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
What sport do wasps love?
Sting-pong.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
Just had Lobster Bisque for the first time!
It was souper good!
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
What do you call a three-eyed tiger?
A tiiiger.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
What did the beaver say to his girlfriend?
Chew make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
A spider saw a car he liked at the dealership and decided to take it out for a spin.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
What happens when fish start an addiction to worms?
They get hooked.
What do you call a bee that comes back from the dead?
Zombee
Because they got turtle recall, turtles never forget.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
What do llamas do when they eat outside together?
They have an alpacanic.
What type of snake does a baby play with?
A rattlesnake.
Escaped snakes make some people hiss-terical.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What do you call a buffet for sheep?
All you can bleat!
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
A priest, a rabbit and a deacon walk into a blood bank.
"I think I might be a type o." said the rabbit.
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
Why don’t Alpacas like singing with background music?
They prefer to sing alpacapella.
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
What did the crow said when it saw a car coming? Cawr.
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet? A Dinosaucer
What kind of key has no lock?
A turkey.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.