What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
What do you do if a rabbit keeps pooping in your yard? Take him to a pellet court.
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
What do snakes use to clean their car windows?
Windscreen vipers.
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
Their engagement is yet to be made offishell.
What happened when the kid got confused with beavers and coypus in the exam? He said, " I otter know better."
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.
Why didn't the frog park on the side of the road?
He was afraid of getting toad.
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
What do crows read? Cawmics.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
All seals live at the same elevation
Seal level.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
Why did the guy kill the fly?
It was bugging him.
What do tigers sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells! Jungle bells!
What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Q: Why did the tiger eat the lamp?
A: He wanted a light lunch.
What did the llama say when the other llama asked if they wanted to go on holiday?
Alpaca suitcase.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
A well-loved parrot died, and was digitally immortalized in a 3D rendering.
Polygon but not forgotten.
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing? Her shadow!
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig?
A boar constrictor.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
Did you hear about the bird that couldn’t pass environmental legislation?
He was a lame duck.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats it's vegetables? A.brocileasoarus
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
Why did the otter cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
How do bats spend their time?
Flying and hanging out.
What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ? A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?
It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect.
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
What does a squirrel wear on its feet?
Cashews
What do you call an ant that doesn’t sink?
Bouy-ant.
Is a goat that eats office supplies on a staple diet?
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
What is the name of the final exam you take when studying bird law? The crow bar.
Why do cows have no money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
Heard about the beaver who can split huge logs with his eyes? Yes, he just saw the logs, and they broke into two.