Did you hear about the rich rabbit? He was a millionhare!
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What's the difference between a strawberry and a Tyrannosaurus? The strawberry is red!
I personally think bunnies are ear-resistible.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A bird that talks your ears off.
A werewolf that is confused on what to wear is not a dumb one, instead it is a what-to-wear-wolf.
What is a koala’s favorite exercise?
Bearobics.
Whats in a camels favorite cup of tea?
Camelmile
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Where do crabs invest their money?
A sea bank.
How can you tell if there is a dinosaur in bed with you? By the `D' on his pajamas.
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
What do you give a sick snake?
Asp-rin.
Her: "Buffalo meat is delicious. What are they made of? Beef?"
Me: "No... They're made of buff."
What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo ? A Tricera-hops!
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
Why do people hate bee puns?
Because they don’t want to beelieve they are good
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
What happened when the koala tripped and fell in a crowded restaurant? He got embearassed.
What do you call a bee who never brags?
A humble-bee
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
Q. What did they serve with nacho cheese at stag parties?
A. Deer-itos.
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
What does a beaver from Philly drink?
Wooder.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
Did you hear that the singer Seal left a night club event because of the revellers sharing derogatory poems about him?
He was dissed by the prose at a rave.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ? Any kind! A house cannot jump!
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What do you call a flying turtle?
A shellicopter.
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
What do you call it when a sloth eats a second plate of food?
Slothy seconds
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.