Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!
The group of crows that attacked the lady was accused of murder, the cawps are still looking for the probable caws.
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
Some marine biologists argued about how best to handle angry dolphins.
The were working at cross porpoises.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
What does a chocolate crow say? “Cacao!”
Why did the ram run over the cliff edge?
Because he didn’t see the ewe turn.
What is a baby parrot's favourite game? Beak-a-boo!
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
Did you guys know that dolphins attack seals for sport?
It's almost like they do it on porpoise.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
What Kind of Books do Rabbits Read? Ones with Hoppy Endings.
What did the deer say after she did her friend a favor?
“You doe me!”
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
What do you call an ant who can’t speak?
A mute ant.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
If you have a parrot, it says a lot about you!
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
How do pink birds make friends? They fla-mingle.
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
What is a mouse’s favorite game?
Hide and squeak!
What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit? A chili dog on a bun!
What did the deer say to his friend who has slipping down the mountain?
Hang on for deer life!
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
What do you get when two giraffes run into each other?
A giraffic jam.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What is the most affordable type of meat that we would purchase?
“Dear balls because they are always under a buck.”
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do bees call wasps?
Wanna-bees.
What fruit do vampire bats like the best?
Neck-tarines.
What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur? Hello, hello!
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
Dad Bee left. Mama Bee calls out ...
Honeycomb home!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox.
A sloth walks in to a bar and waves to get the bartender’s attention, and says I’ll have...... a soda water.
The bartender replies “why the long paws?”
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
What do dolphins need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
I hate getting into arguments with farmers about the best methods for keeping crows away.
They always resort to straw man arguments.
Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
Did you hear about the birds of prey on black Friday?
It was a free for owl.