Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
What does the like to parrot wear to the beach? A beak-ini!
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress? Rep. Tile!
How do you catch a squirrel who's interested in ornithology?
Climb a tree and act like a nuthatch.
How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur.
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
How do lions greet people?
"Pleased to eat you!"
What is a naughty beavers' favorite type of wood ever? Knotty pine.
What type of snake does a baby play with?
A rattlesnake.
Escaped snakes make some people hiss-terical.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What’s black and white and stands in the corner?
A naughty panda.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
If you ever own a koala as a pet, make sure you can keep track of it by putting a koalar around its neck.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook.
A kid at the spelling bee was asked to spell "inward"
A teacher tackled him after the first G
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
What do you call a wasp who is having a bad hair day?
A frizz-bee
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
What do you call a thirsty camel ?
A dry humper.
Their engagement is yet to be made offishell.
What happened when they planted new bamboo trees at the zoo?
It was pandamonium out there!
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
What kind of musical instrument do mice play? A mouse organ! Why do mice have long tails? Well, they'd look silly with long hair!
How did the beaver introduce his wife? This is my significant otter.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Did you get to hear his new collection of wolf puns? They are howl-arious, absolutely rib cracking.
What makes a glow worm glow?
A light meal!
Did you hear about the party at the Chinese zoo?
It was Panda-monium.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What do frogs drink?
Croak-a-cola.
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
When milking a nervous goat, you should use kid gloves.