What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
"Odor in the court!"
Which color is a zebra's base color? The debate is endless, and there is no clear answer.
It both is and isn't a black-and-white issue.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
What did the deer say to his friend who has slipping down the mountain?
Hang on for deer life!
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
Q: What did the sign for the party for beavers say?
A: Beaver or be square.
What makes more noise than a dinosaur ? Two dinosaurs!
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jump rope.
Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court …
The game would be cancelled.
What do polite whales always say?
You’re whale-come.
Why didn’t the lobster and crab share their lunch with an octopus?
Because they are too shellfish.
Who has large antlers, a high voice and wears white gloves? Mickey Moose!
When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...
That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
Why are beavers so good in maths? They love log'arithms.
Why do worms hate graveyards?
They keep bumping into skeletons!
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.
I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
Who makes dinosaur clothes? dino-sewer.
Why can't college professors take exams at a zoo? Because there are too many cheetahs.
Why do snakes always measure in inches?
Because they don’t have any feet.
What did the duck who learned physics say?
Quark, quark.
What does a monkey wear while cooking?
An ape-ron.
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew off the shelves.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
Where does a tiger sleep?
Anywhere he wants to!
What do you get when two giraffes run into each other?
A giraffic jam.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress? Rep. Tile!
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
Why did the frog make so many mistakes?
It jumped to the wrong conclusions.
When is a turkey scary?
When it's a goblin.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
My sister asked me for some spider puns.
I told her to look them up on the web.