Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
Why do owls make such bad baseball players?
Their hits are always fowl.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
Crows go, listen, perform, and enjoy live music, at cawnsorts.
Where does a rottweiler sit in the cinema?
Anywhere it wants to.
What does a Triceratops sit on? Its Tricera-bottom.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your Halloween bag?
They can lighten your load!
Why did the man wear a rabbit as a hat? He didn’t want anyone to harm a Hare on his head!
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus!
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
What problem did the young bat experience?
The hangout.
What did the goat farmer’s wife say to her husband when he was swearing on the job?
“Not in front of the kids!”
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
Did you know that a group of crows is called a murder?
Well, technically it’s only a murder if there’s probable caws.
If you have a line of 100 rabbits in a row and 99 of them take 1 step backwards, what do you have? A receding hare line.
Did you hear about the koala bear in the church choir? Yeah, they say he sings bearitone.
Where do dinosaurs get their mail ? At the dead-letter office!
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What do you call a bat who gets a charge out of life?
A battery.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
Did you hear what happened to the Energizer Bunny? He got arrested for Battery.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tell it a funny Halloween joke and see which end laughs!
What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone?
A golden receiver.
Which flower is known as the most ferocious flower? A tiger lily.
Did you hear about the woman who complained about her rabbit stew? She said there was a hare in her soup.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
Who’s a llama’s favorite pop singer?
Llama Del Ray.
What do you call a parrot that won’t eat?
A Polly-no-meal.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What do crows take for their gut issues? crow-biotics.
How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
Ten-ants.
The inventor of mosquito repellent likely did not know where to begin...
I guess he would have to start from scratch.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
What's a sheep's favorite art style?
Baa's Relief