What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
What does a mosquito say to greet his girlfriend?
"M'laria."
He has some good puns on crows, but he doesn’t have to keep crowing about it.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
Rabbits are trying to eat away my old Toyota!
Mechanic said it could be car rot.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
How do you catch a unique bunny? Unique up on it.
What do you call a secret group of llamas?
The i-llama-nati.
What do you call a stoned, dyslexic crow?
A hybrid
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox.
Why do owls make such bad baseball players?
Their hits are always fowl.
I have the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
I finally found out why flamingos sleep with one leg up! If they had both legs up they would fall over.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What did the baby deer say to his friend?
“I’m so fawn-d of you!”
Where do monkeys go when they lose their tails?
To a retailer.
Where does the Easter bunny get his eggs? From an eggplant.
What was the scariest prehistoric animal? The Terror-dactyl!
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
I had a job circumcising elephants.
The base salary wasn't great, but the tips were huge.
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
Why did the bat fire a chauffeur?
He drove everyone batty.
What did the lollipop lady say to the zebra crossing?
'You're stripping me of a job.'
My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop.
Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"
He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?
An extra long toilet brush.
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
What did the baby goat say to his father?
I kid you not.
Why are beavers only found in freshwaters? Because they don't like stale water.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
here do lobsters go to borrow money? The prawn broker.
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son
"Beehive!"
What do you call an and with frogs legs?
An antphibian.
Where did the deer go to fix its tail?
The re-tail shop.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
Flamingos are pretty daring birds. They like just about anything, as long as it’s eggs-citing.
What happened when the bear applied at the movie theater?
He was told he was not koala-fied.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.