Which side of a duck has the most feathers?
The outside.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Bronto-snorus.
Who would win a game of hide and seek between a dalmatian and a tiger? The tiger because he wouldn't be spotted.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road ? The chicken hadn't evolved yet!
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only 2. They'll fit.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
What do your call a dinosaur with one eye? Eye-saur.
How do you know you’ve been visited by a possessed rabbit? He leaves deviled eggs.
What's better than a talking dinosaur ? A spelling bee. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-Try-Try-ceratops.
Two crows land on a park bench.
They were arrested for conspiring to murder.
What kind of gang violence is common among owls?
A drive by hooting.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
What do mosquitoes and relatives have in common?
They both share your blood.
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
A famous turtle is called a shell-ebrity.
Why should you never do math with a tiger?
If you add 4+4 you're gonna get ate.
What do you call a group of dyslexic crows?
A redrum.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up
How did the beaver introduce his wife? This is my significant otter.
What's worse than lobsters on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
I saw a mosquito in the kitchen. I could have killed it, but I let it fly away...
That's probably going to come back to bite me later.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
What do you call a bat with the flu?
An airborne disease.
I was driving through the safari park when my sat nav said “bear left”. It was clearly a zebra.
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
What do you call an electrically charged seal?
A seal ion.
How do you know when a cephalopod has been using your toilet?
Squid marks.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
My pet owl will soon turn 180.
He's not old, he just has a bad neck.
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
How do bats spend their time?
Flying and hanging out.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
Did you hear that the singer Seal left a night club event because of the revellers sharing derogatory poems about him?
He was dissed by the prose at a rave.
Dad: Where do desert nomads buy their camels?
Son: I dunno. Where?
Dad: at Camelot.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
Who cleans all the mess created by beavers after their beach trip? Mer-maids.
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
What did the duck who learned physics say?
Quark, quark.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw. Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ? A dino-sewer.
When a lion takes a lioness from another lion, he kills and eats any cubs she has. You'd think he'd be ashamed of himself.
But apparently he just swallows his pride.
How do you catch a rich squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a cashew.