What hotel do mice stay in ? The Stilton
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
I saw a guy trying to cross a really busy street. Trying to be helpful, I said, “You know, there is a zebra crossing 50ft ahead.”
He said, “I hope he’s having a better luck than I am.”
What do you call a Spanish Goat with no hind legs?
Gracias
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
What do you call a bee who never brags?
A humble-bee
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
What does a monkey wear while cooking?
An ape-ron.
What's the opposite of an elephant?
An eleph-antonym.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
What's green and hangs from trees? Dinosaur snot.
Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation? To the dino-shore.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
What do you call a tiger who always gets the same grades as one other person? A tie-ger.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
How do you draw flies?
With a pencil!
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Where does a lobster keep its clothes?
In the clawset!
A star athlete in Koalaville got kicked off the Olympic team for cheating. Unfortunately, he was diskoalafied.
Q: How do you stop an angry tiger from charging?
A: Take away his credit cards.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
What do you call an ant who won’t go away?
Perman-ant.
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
What’s the name of the rabbit who stole from the rich and gave to the poor? Rabbit Hood.
What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
What kind of musical instrument do mice play?
A mouse organ!
What’s the difference between a greyhound station and a lobster with a boob job?
One’s a crusty bus-station, the other’s a busty crustacean.
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-pus
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
Q. What can a buck take after a night of drinking at a stag party?
A. Elk-a-seltzer.
Just finished my first shift as a lion impersonator.
It was a roaring success.
What do you call a panda who’s lost his dinner?
Bamboozled.
The wolf crossed the road because it was chasing the chicken.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance style? Hip-Hop!
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
My friend asked me how my pet crow communicates…
I replied, “Microwaves”.
What did the crow said when it saw a car coming? Cawr.
What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress? Rep. Tile!
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
Where did the hamsters invade the beaver colony? Hamsterdam.
What do you call a well-dressed ant?
Eleg-ant.