What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
What do you call a happy rabbit? An Hop-timist.
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in morse code!
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What do you call a maternal Turkish robot water weasel?
An Ottoman otter-mom automaton.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
A spider called a tech support office.
He needed help connecting to the web.
I like dillos, but do not support giving them guns.
I would never armadillo.
What's better than a talking dinosaur ? A spelling bee. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-Try-Try-ceratops.
Why are rabbits so lucky? They have four rabbit’s feet.
What do you call a royal goat wearing denim?
Billy Jean King.
A teacher asks the class to name six mammals that you might find in Africa. One of the pupils replies, “five zebras and a lion”.
What Do Ducks Have With Soup?
Quackers
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
Where does a baby monkey sleep?
In an apricot.
What do you call it when evil worms take over the world?
Global Worming!
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
Is a mountain goat a hillbilly?
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
My pet turtle died.
I'm not upset - just shell-shocked.
What jumps up and down in front of a car?
Froglights.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
All the turtles wore turtle necks to the party.
I tried to phone the spiritual leader of Tibet once, but I was sent a big goat with a long neck instead.
I must have phoned Dial-a-Llama by mistake.
How do you say farewell to a very optimistic insect?
Buoyant!
Did you hear about the party at the Chinese zoo?
It was Panda-monium.
On which day do tiger eat people?
Chewsday
What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? The police had to comb the area.
What do you call a group of crows who see food?
A tempted murder.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
Where do you get frog's eggs?
At the spawn shop.
Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? Because she had no guts!
What do you call a shrimp hit by a car?
Road krill.
Did you hear about the snake who wrote a love letter to his girlfriend?
He sealed it with a hiss.
How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?
"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken.
What’s the difference between a lion and a tiger?
A tiger always tells the truth, the other one is always lie-on.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
There once was a koala who could run at a speed of more than 800 miles per hour. He was the first koala to break the sound bearier.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.