Why don't turkeys like math?
Because when they added three to five...
They got Ate.
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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Enough drumstics for a month.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A do-you-think-he-saur-us.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
Did you hear about the rabbit who refused to leave her house? She was having a bad hare day.
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
How did the koala bear get the high-paying job? He met all of the koalafications.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
My wife and I are very competitive, but when it came to flamingo impersonation, I didn't stand a chance
She had a leg up the whole time.
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-pus
What do llamas always say after yoga class?
“Llamaste.”
Why do worms taste like chewing gum?
Because they’re wrigleys!
Psychologist: What brings you here today?
Squirrel: I realized I am what I eat….. Nuts.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
What do you get when a duck bends over?
It’s Buttquack
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
How do you catch a unique bunny? Unique up on it.
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
How do you plan to shell-ebrate the New Year?
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
A goat came out of nowhere and headbutted me
It was a ram-done act of violence
What is a seals favorite subject?
Art Art Art Art!
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
What do you call a light-headed elephant?
An ele-faint.
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
A spider crawled under my keyboard a few minutes ago.
Good news: I’ve got it under Ctrl.
Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
Why did the Koala cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Why are flamingos such good patients?
They’re used to wading.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
What do you call a bee that comes back from the dead?
Zombee
You cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo and you end up with a turtle
neck jumper.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
Deja moo:
That feeling you've heard this bull before.
A mosquito was trying to land on my arm.
I shook it and said:
"Not on my watch."
How do you know you’ve been visited by a possessed rabbit? He leaves deviled eggs.
What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
Bugs bunny.
I tried to keep a koala in my house, but the smell was just unBEARable.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.