Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
What does the parrot get at the end of a restaurant meal? The bill!
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
Who were the original transformers? Vampire bats!
Just had Lobster Bisque for the first time!
It was souper good!
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
Why did the frog make so many mistakes?
It jumped to the wrong conclusions.
How do koalas stay in shape? They do bearobics.
A zebra is the safest place to cross the road. Unless you are actually a zebra.
Where do crows type? Crows type on cawmputers.
Why are beavers only found in freshwaters? Because they don't like stale water.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
Why did the Koala cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What’s a horse’s favorite dinosaur?
The broncosaurus.
Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Tricera-cops.
What did the nervous crow do? The crow proceeded with caw-tion.
How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?
"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"
Where do bats like to relax?
In the bat-tub.
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What does a skunk’s car run on?
Fumes.
What is a lion’s favourite cheese?
Roarquefort
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
A lion would never play golf.
But a Tiger Wood.
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
Why did the parrot cross the road? Just beak-ause!
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
What are ants made of?
Antimatter.
Wolves love taking woofles for breakfast, they are sweet and amazing.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What do you call a really happy ant?
Exuber-ant.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
Why are tigers striped? Because they never want to be spotted.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
Why did the bunny bang his head on the piano? He was playing by ear!
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
My brother was trampled to death by a flock of sheep.
May he rest in fleece.
Most camels prefer camelmile drinks because of the nutrition in there.