I stole seven crows yesterday.
Got away with murder.
That raven is so stubborn at times, he just needs to crow up.
How was the first giraffe made?
Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
I like you, you croc my world.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What was the scariest prehistoric animal? The Terror-dactyl!
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What does a skunk’s car run on?
Fumes.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What does the parrot get at the end of a restaurant meal? The bill!
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
What was the most flexible dinosaur? Tyrannosaurus Flex.
What's more amazing than a talking bat? A spelling bee!
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
How do you save a drowning mouse? Use mouse to mouse resuscitation!
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
How do you know when a baby koala bear is happy? You’ll see them jump for joey!
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
When one of them have a birthday, turtles call for a shell-ebration.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?
At least the otter knows he's not a seal.
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What do you call a beaver with a bad attitude who acts lazy? A beaver that doesn’t give a dam.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A bird that talks your ears off.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
What do you call an ant from overseas?
Import-ant.
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
Q. Why was the stag thrown in the army brig?
A. Due to deer-eliction of duty.
What do you call a bird that can fix anything?
Duck Tape.
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
When a lion takes a lioness from another lion, he kills and eats any cubs she has. You'd think he'd be ashamed of himself.
But apparently he just swallows his pride.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.