I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
Dolphins don't have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
What do you call a group of lions partying on ships in Gibraltar?
A strait pride parade.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A sunburned panda.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.
What do you call a noisy group of crows?
A caw-cophony!
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
What kind of camel throws a hissy fit when you milk it?
A drama dairy.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
Tony the tiger ate both of my grandmother's parents.
Tearfully, I asked him why. He just looked at me and said, "They're GREAT!"
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
What is a lion’s favourite cheese?
Roarquefort
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
What did the river say to the beaver? You look so tide'y.
What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater.
Why does the paparazzi beaver have a camera pointing towards the river? To keep up with current events and give main-stream updates.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
Why was the koala scientist so well-respected by his peers? He was known for conducting excellent koalatative research.
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making
by making you an otter you can't defuse.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What do you call a cross between a donkey and a zebra?
Debra.
How do bats tell their future? They read their horrorscope.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet? blood-thirsty hacker baby
What do you call it when a sloth eats a second plate of food?
Slothy seconds
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
What do you call a really happy ant?
Exuber-ant.
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.