What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What kind of bee makes milk?
A Boobie!
I like you, you croc my world.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-pus
Why do ants work so hard?
They are all serv-ants.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What do snakes use to clean their car windows?
Windscreen vipers.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A tiger moth.
Where do you find giant snails? At the end of giants fingers!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What is a crows favorite vegetable?
Corn on the caawb.
Did you hear what happened to the Energizer Bunny? He got arrested for Battery.
Why don't crabs donate to charity?
They're shellfish penny pinchers.
What kind of dinosaur works for the police? A trisara-cop.
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
To resolve the internal issues at the office, crows involved their cawnflict mediators.
A sunburned murder of crows is referred to as 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
What do you call a parrot with an umbrella? Polly unsaturated.
What’s black, dangerous and hides in trees?
A crow with a machine gun.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.
A beaver told a joke about a waterfall. It was a pour joke.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
What animal can go into a tiger’s den and came out alive?
The tiger.
What do you call the worlds tallest mosquito?
Himalarya.
My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop.
Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"
He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?
A turtle disaster.
Their engagement is yet to be made offishell.
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!