What does a frog order in Mcdonald's?
French flies and a diet croak.
What did the beaver mention to a tree? It has been nice gnawing you.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
What did the banana say to the monkey?
Nothing, bananas don’t talk.
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
Why do psychiatrists study bats?
They want to learn about their hang-ups.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball?
A home run.
Why was the crow so angry after his stand up comedy gig? The venue paid him in coffee instead of caw fee.
Why did the Beatles stop inviting Ringo to Thanksgiving?
Because he wouldn't share the drumsticks.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus!
Why didn't the frog park on the side of the road?
He was afraid of getting toad.
What is serial killer Buffalo Bill's favorite fast food restaurant?
Chick Fillet.
Which frog has horns?
A bull frog.
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean!
What is a beaver's most favorite song ever? You made me a, you made me a beaver, beaver.
What does a bankrupt frog say?
Baroke, baroke, baroke.
What is a medieval owl called?
A knight owl.
What’s black and white and very noisy?
A panda with a set of drums.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
What does the queen bee of every hive tell their workers to do?
She tells them to bee productive.
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.
*Baste on a True Story...*
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
Why won't the dog listen to the farmer's sheep jokes?
He's herd them all.
What did a duck say to the comedian?
You quack me up.
Why do Otters swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
Elephants will toil all day, and they work for peanuts.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
What do you call a really happy ant?
Exuber-ant.
How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box ? One . After that, the box isn't empty anymore!
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What did the llama say when he found out he had been robbed?
“I’ve been fleeced!”
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
A fight between tiger and lion broke out. Both of them wanted to become the next empe-roar of the jungle.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
What Do You Call A Clever Duck?
A wise quacker
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
What did the dolphin do to the woman who was rude to it?
Flipper off!
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
Where is a frog's favorite place to eat?
At IHOP.
A mosquito was trying to land on my arm.
I shook it and said:
"Not on my watch."