What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a Spider? A Hare net!
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
How Do Ducks Talk?
They don't, you quack.
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
What's green and hangs from trees? Dinosaur snot.
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
Every koala supports the idea of being able to defend themselves against tyranny. They believe in having the right to bear claws.
How do you find zebra?
Look under zeshirt.
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
It’s roar birthday!
How does a bee get to school?
She takes a school buzz
What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A bunny ribbit.
How do you say farewell to a very optimistic insect?
Buoyant!
Who’s a llama’s favorite actor?
Al Pacacino.
What did the wife beaver say to her astronaut husband? You are otter this world.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside? A mouse sandwich!
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.
What is a dog’s ideal job?
A barkeologist.
Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A. A walkie talkie!
What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? A Diplodocus with a sore throat!
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
Why did the beaver cross the river? To get to the other side of the river.
How do you make a telephone in the jungle?
With toucans and a piece of string.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
What do you call an owl with a deep voice?
A growl.
What do you get when two giraffes run into each other?
A giraffic jam.
What do you call a bee you can't understand? A mumble bee.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What do a mommy bee and a daddy bee make when they have alone time?
A babe-bee.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.