Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
Why did the giant ape climb up the side of the skyscraper?
Because the elevator was broken.
The good pony apologized to the tiger at the zoo for his sore throat, he said: "I am sorry, I am a little horse."
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
What do llamas always reply when you thank them?
No probllama.
Something’s goat to give.
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
What do you call it when a dinosaur gets in a car accident? Tyrannasaurus wreck!
Why didn’t the lobster and crab share their lunch with an octopus?
Because they are too shellfish.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What's more impressive than a talking fish?
A spelling bee.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
Flamingos are pretty daring birds. They like just about anything, as long as it’s eggs-citing.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What do you call an important English snake?
Sir Pent.
Which side of a koala bear has the most fur? The outside!
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
Tigers are bad at basketball because they have only four feet.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Bronto-snorus.
What was the most famous bat comedy team?
Ab-bat and Costello.
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
Due to social distancing, I had a conversation with a spider today,
Seems nice, he’s a web designer.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
A well-loved parrot died, and was digitally immortalized in a 3D rendering.
Polygon but not forgotten.
In order to be efficient, I named my parrots Roger, Gene, and Mick.
Two Byrds, one Stone.
Why did the chimpanzee cross the road?
Because he had to take care of some monkey business.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on a snail this morning. You should of seen him, he looked genuinely crushed.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
Where do rabbits work? At IHOP restaurants!
How does a crab go when it's right?
"Aw, snap!"
What do you call a blind dinosaur? adoyouthinkhesaurus.
The inventor of mosquito repellent likely did not know where to begin...
I guess he would have to start from scratch.