Went on a walk today. Had a couple of crows following me around. I'm pretty sure I have the corvid.
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
I killed a spider with soap
He got a clean death.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
Why did the otter cross the river?
To get to the otter side
Why did the lion cross the road? Because he saw a zebra-crossing...
What are unsolved murders called when it happens in a society of crows? Murder mysteries.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
A camel can work all week without drinking..
A man can drink all week without working.
What do tigers sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells! Jungle bells!
The turtle had to cross the road in order to get to the Shell station.
I had a shell of a time when I attended the costume party as a turtle.
What did the husband beaver say to the wife beaver to express his love and gratitude? You are the one for me, waddle I do without you?
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
When a lion takes a lioness from another lion, he kills and eats any cubs she has. You'd think he'd be ashamed of himself.
But apparently he just swallows his pride.
What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case.”
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
What did the crow decide to dress up as on Halloween? As a scarecrow.
What do you get when you sit under a cow?
A pat on the head.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
Where do monkeys go to drink?
To the monkey bars.
What did one frog say.to the other?
Time's sure fun when you're having flies.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
There’s caws for alarm.
What’s the difference between a gross bus stop and a crab with large breasts?
One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
What's the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One's awake in the night and the other's a wake in the day.
Why don’t dolphins play basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
Why don’t dolphin do well on school tests?
Because they work below C-Level!
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
Did you hear about the party at the Chinese zoo?
It was Panda-monium.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
Did the dinosaur take a bath ? Why, is there one missing?
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Did you hear about the woman who complained about her rabbit stew? She said there was a hare in her soup.
Where do crows type? Crows type on cawmputers.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
What kind of music do goats listen to?
Baaa-ch!
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.