What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
What do you call an owl dressed in armor?
A knight owl.
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
Q. Which Greek eggplant dish do deer really eat up?
A. Moose-aka.
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
How do rabbits travel? By hareplane.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What did the nervous crow do? The crow proceeded with caw-tion.
How do you know when a cephalopod has been using your toilet?
Squid marks.
Why did the beaver refuse to laugh at any of the twig's jokes? He is not a big fan of dry humor.
What is an owl’s dream occupation?
Flight attendant.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Who’s a llama’s favorite U.S. president?
Barack Ollama.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What do you call a dinosaur with a foul mouth? Bronto-swore-us.
What does the mouse say to its mate? "Were like crackers and cheese"
What did the crow said when it saw a car coming? Cawr.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
What do you call a crab that throws things?
Lobster
What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met!
What did one beaver say to the other at the river? Dam it.
Why does the dolphin kingdom never go to war?
Because it would defeat the porpoise.
Turtles communicate with each other through shell phones.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks: “Is this stool taken?”
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
The crow decided to dress up as Corvid-19 virus for the Halloween costume party.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Bronto-snorus.
When is a turkey scary?
When it's a goblin.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
What martial art do monkeys practice?
Flung Poo.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
A seal goes into a bar and the bartender asked him,"What will it be Mr seal?"
The seal responds,"anything but a Canadian Club".
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.