My son wanted a pet spider but they're to expensive.
I told him I'll get him one off the web.
Does Mr. Otterton listen to Gazelle? Yes he's a rabid fan.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
I do find that flamingos don’t plan very well for the future… They’re too prone to putting all their eggs in the one basket.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats it's vegetables? A.brocileasoarus
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
Just a buffalo laying down, bisoness as usual.
If a goat grows a beard, is it a goatee?
What’s striped and bouncy?
A tiger on a pogo stick!
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
Where do you get frog's eggs?
At the spawn shop.
I went into a pet shop and said: "I would like a pet parrot for my daughter."
Confused, the owner replied: "Sorry, we don't do swaps."
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
Why did the cranberries turn red?
They saw the turkey dressing!
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
How do you save a drowning mouse ?
Use mouse to mouse resuscitation !
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
Two snakes parted.
The first one said, “Fangs for the memories”.
Have you heard about the new book all about flamingos? Apparently it’s flying off the shelves.
Why can't you trust zebras?
Because they're convicted horse felons.
Overheard on a bus... What do you call a social hermit crab?
Just a crab.
I have so many Easter puns, it’s not even bunny.
What's more amazing than a talking bat? A spelling bee!
My lobster's name is:
Claude
The good pony apologized to the tiger at the zoo for his sore throat, he said: "I am sorry, I am a little horse."
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
"Swarm."
What do your call a dinosaur with one eye? Eye-saur.
What's a camel's favorite part of a meal?
Desert!
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
When you swat a mosquito on your arm
Its death is in vein.
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
What did the deer say to her friend when she needed assistance?
“Could you doe me a favour?”
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw? Because they don't know how to cook it.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What do you call a funny snake?
Hissssssterical.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!