What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
Where does a Tyrannosaurus sit when he comes to stay? Anywhere he wants to.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
Prime-Mates!
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
What did the boyfriend mouse say too the girlfriend mouse family? Mice too meet you.
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers? Because he is a meat eater!
Where do llamas go on vacation?
Alpacapuco.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress? Rep. Tile!
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
What does a monkey wear while cooking?
An ape-ron.
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
What did the owl booty text his girlfriend?
I’ve been thinking about you owl night long.
What do you call a bee who never brags?
A humble-bee
What do you get when you cross a tortoise and a llama?
A turtle-neck sweater.
What’s black and white and stands in the corner?
A naughty panda.
What is a koala bear’s favorite line in the movie “The Sixth Sense”? “Aussie dead people.”
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.
What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this?
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
Today I learned that mosquitoes love type-B blood.
Oops. sorry, type-O.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels? Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
Flamingos are known by a different name when they dress up to go out – they call themselves glamingos.
What makes a glow worm glow?
A light meal!
Where do crows go to get educated?
CAWlege
Picking your favorite snack can be like picking the slowest turtle in the pack.
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
Where did the hamsters invade the beaver colony? Hamsterdam.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
The worst part about being a giraffe…
Is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you’re sinking into quicksand.
What do you call a otter that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What is a flamingo's favorite thing to do at the weekend? Play fla-bingo.