What do frogs do with paper?
Rip-it.
What did the bus driver say to the frog?
Hop on.
What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling at Christmas?
Mistletoad.
Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
Do you know what kind of stock to use when making neotropical near-passerine bird soup?
Doesnt matter, as long as you put Toucans in.
How do you measure the circumference of a Sheep?
Shepherds Pie
What’s a rabbit’s favorite game? Hopscotch!
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
Which side of a koala bear has the most fur? The outside!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
Independ-ant.
Who has large antlers, a high voice and wears white gloves? Mickey Moose!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
Once I told a joke about mosquitos...
It was malarious.
A goat came out of nowhere and headbutted me
It was a ram-done act of violence
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
What do you call a very smart bunny? An egghead.
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
Where do crabs invest their money?
A sea bank.
Where do crows go to get educated?
CAWlege
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
Was the koala able to complete the grueling 26-mile marathon? Bearly.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What did the bear say when he got a joke? He just bear-ly had a chuckle!
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
What does an owl with an attitude have?
A scowl.
What do you call an American Bee?
A USB.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up.
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
What's a bee's favorite novel?
The Great Gats-Bee
How many rabbits does it take to change a light bulb? Only one if it hops right to it.
What do Chinese bears eat for breakfast?
Panda-cakes!
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
What do you call a famous turtle?
A shell-ebrity.
Baby seal walks into a club...
Years later he would sing A kiss from a rose in the same club.
Which flower is known as the most ferocious flower? A tiger lily.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
What did the koala write in his Valentine’s Day card to his girlfriend? “I love you-calyptus”.
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
A spider called a tech support office.
He needed help connecting to the web.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
Where is a frog's favorite place to eat?
At IHOP.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.