Who’s a llama’s favorite pop singer?
Llama Del Ray.
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
Star Warts.
Why did the magician have to cancel his show? Because he just washed his hare and couldn’t do a thing with it.
What did Cinderella Dolphin lose?
Her glass flipper!
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
I told my wife that I saw a sheep pondering its place in the world.
She asked me, “Can ewe even imagine?”
What is the maggot army called? The Apple Corps.
Wondering what crows wear during Halloween, well, they wear caw-stumes.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
Why can't college professors take exams at a zoo? Because there are too many cheetahs.
What did the banana do when he saw the monkey?
The banana split.
What do crows drink in order to stay awake? They drink cawfee.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares!
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A bird that talks your ears off.
What did the panda say when he was forced out of his natural habitat?
This is un-bear-able.
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk?
Dirty looks from the mouse!
What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?
A turtle disaster.
Do you know what kind of stock to use when making neotropical near-passerine bird soup?
Doesnt matter, as long as you put Toucans in.
What kind of books do owls read?
Hoo-dunnits.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
What makes more noise than a dinosaur ? Two dinosaurs!
A homicide detective walks into a bar and orders a beer.
"Hey look at those birds outside," the bartender comments to him. "Did you know that a group of crows like that is called a murder?"
"Well you can't be sure that's a murder," the detective says. "Unless there is probable caws."
What does a snail wear to go dancing?? Escargogo boots.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had bat breath.
What do you call monkeys who share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
A group of crows is usually called a 'murder.' Technically, it's only a manslaughter unless there is probable caws.
Why did the bunny cross the road? He wanted to prove he could hip hop!
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
How does an otter get into an honest business? Usually through the skylight.
What did the Easter bunny say to the carrot?It’s been nice gnawing you.
Q: What did the sign for the party for beavers say?
A: Beaver or be square.
What game do little bats like to play?
Batty fight.
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
The poor werewolf was busy chasing his own tail. We were later told that he was trying to make ends meet.