How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
The farmer cried wolf when all his three pigs were mauled by the jungle wolf.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
How do you invite a dinosaur for lunch?
Tea, Rex?
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
What do you give a sick snake?
Asp-rin.
Today I went to the bee store
And I wanted 12 bee's but when I checked out the cashier gave me 13 and I asked him why he gave me 13 instead of 12 and he said it was a free bee.
What is a koala’s favorite soft drink? Koka-Koala, of course!
Why did the bunny bang his head on the piano? He was playing by ear!
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
Ten-ants.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are qwacked.
Why did the dinosaur paint her toenails red? So she could hide in the strawberry patch!
What do you call two rabbits racing down the road? The fast and the furriest.
How do lions greet people?
"Pleased to eat you!"
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
I once had a conversation with a dolphin.
We just clicked.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
What's a goat's favorite organ?
A Kid-ney
Flight allows flamingos to stay safe from predators. This is natural selection in action, and explains why flaminstays are extinct.
What’s the silliest name you can give a tiger?
Spot.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
Why did the dolphin end its own life?
It was missing a porpoise.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What is a beaver's most favorite song ever? You made me a, you made me a beaver, beaver.
What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels? Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
How do you upset a dinosaur? Touchasaurus Spot.
What is a good place for bat jokes?
A public bat room.
What does a monkey wear while cooking?
An ape-ron.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
What’s the definition of butter?
An angry goat.