What do koalas do when they see social injustice happening in the world? They fight for ekoalaty!
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
People in Iran are scared of spiders
But in Iraq, no phobia.
What is serial killer Buffalo Bill's favorite fast food restaurant?
Chick Fillet.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw? Because they don't know how to cook it.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
I'm giving away my legless parrot, no perches necessary!
Crowing, crowing, gone.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
What has more lives than a cat?
A frog because it croaks every night.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
How do tigers like their cheese?
Grrrrreated
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Beakaboo
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Count Duckula.
How does a bee get to school?
She takes a school buzz
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What's the difference between a strawberry and a Tyrannosaurus? The strawberry is red!
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
Why do bees stay in the hive during the winter?
Swarm.
I told my husband that the National Zoo's sloth bear gave birth but ate two of the three babies. He said "now she's guilty of 2 deadly sins: sloth and gluttony."
Why are parrots so good at improvisation? Because they know how to wing it!
A fly feels a bug on it's back. "Hey bug on my back, are you a mite?"
"I mite be !!" giggles the mite.
"That's the worst pun I've ever heard" groans the fly.
"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly. "
The beaver offered some freshly streamed buns to his guests.
Wolfs are named after lots of things around and about them. For instance, lumberjack wolfs are known as timber wolfs.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers? Because he is a meat eater!
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
Why did the mouse stay inside?
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
What do the squirrels do when they are bored ?
watch NutFlix
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew off the shelves.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What Did The Duck Say When The Waitress Came?
Put it on my bill!
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.