What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
Did you guys know that dolphins attack seals for sport?
It's almost like they do it on porpoise.
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had bat breath.
He has some good puns on crows, but he doesn’t have to keep crowing about it.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
A wolf that uses bad language is known as a swearwolf.
How does an otter get into an honest business? Usually through the skylight.
Goat milk?
What's the difference between a sniper with Parkinson's Disease and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but can't hit...
Knock knock!
Who is there?
Beaver
Beaver who?
Be-ware of the turbulent river.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
What do you call a handsome seal?
Mr. Seal Yo Girl.
What jumps up and down in front of a car?
Froglights.
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
Which side of a duck has the most feathers?
The outside.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face?
A mouse-tache!
Why did the bear quit his second job?
Because he needed some koalaty time with his family.
What’s the name of the rabbit who stole from the rich and gave to the poor? Rabbit Hood.
A guy walks into a crow bar
It's a murder scene
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
If a lamb and tiger were crossed, you would end up with a striped sweater.
Are beavers the best builders in the animal kingdom? Dam right they are.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
When you cross a wolf and a monkey, you end up with a howler monkey.
How do you upset a dinosaur? Touchasaurus Spot.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face? A mouse-tache!
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
What does a French beaver call his dam? Ma'dame.
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
Where did the duck go when he was sick? A:
To the ducktor.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
What do you call a Tyrannosaurus under stress?
A nervous rex.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
What do you get when you cross a lion with a parrot?
I don't know, but when it talks, you better listen.
What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?
Lost.
"Dad, what's it called if I like both boys and girls," the buffalo said.
"I believe would be a bi-son," his father replied.