What is a koala’s favorite soft drink? Koka-Koala, of course!
What do you call a camel with three humps?
Pregnant.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
Why did the frog make so many mistakes?
It jumped to the wrong conclusions.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
What do you call a clever ant?
Brilli-ant.
How do frogs die?
They Kermit suicide.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
I hate getting into arguments with farmers about the best methods for keeping crows away.
They always resort to straw man arguments.
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk?
Dirty looks from the mouse!
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
I have no idea how I goat here.
What do you get when you cross an owl with an oyster?
Pearls of wisdom.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
What does the like to parrot wear to the beach? A beak-ini!
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
What is in the middle of dinosaurs ? The letter "s"!
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
What has four legs, four eyes, and a net? Four pirates looking for a lost parrot!
What do you call it when a dinosaur gets in a car accident? Tyrannasaurus wreck!
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
What style of classical music do sheep most enjoy?
Baa-roque
What did the dolphin detective say to his partner?
Something smells fishy!
What was the motto of the unique deer? Deer to be different!
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.
How long has this been going on?
Since I was a kid.
Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief?
Because he wanted his diamondback.
People always talk about the 'Eye Of The Tiger'. No one talks about the other four letters.
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
What kind of hair style does a bee get?
A buzz cut
How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?
"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
What’s green and hangs from trees?
Giraffe snot.
What did the mommy dolphin do when her son was an hour late for dinner?
She flipped out!
The local zoo just started a recycling collection program to support its mission: 'When you bring in one can, you can save Toucans.'
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
What did the bat say when she was invited to dinner?
No, fangs. I just ate.