I heard someone broke out of prison using a sheep
I didn’t believe it until I saw the news and he was on the lamb.
The wolf really needed to talk with the skeleton because he had a bone to pick with him.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
Who is a beaver's most favorite pop singer ever? Justin Beaver.
Q. What can a buck take after a night of drinking at a stag party?
A. Elk-a-seltzer.
What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with athlete’s foot.
I tried to phone the spiritual leader of Tibet once, but I was sent a big goat with a long neck instead.
I must have phoned Dial-a-Llama by mistake.
What do you call a koala with no teeth? A gummy bear.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because their feet smell.
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? Because she had no guts!
What did the bear say when he got a joke? He just bear-ly had a chuckle!
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
One of my friends who hates crows, looked at a flock of crows, I saw murder in his eyes.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
Why do pandas love watching classic movies?
Because they are in black and white.
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What's white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What’s an elephant’s favorite sport?
Squash.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
How do you save a drowning otter? Take your foot of its head
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
How do beavers make a bouncy dam? Well, they use spring water.
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
Where does a bee use the bathroom?
BP
What did the deer say to her friend when she needed assistance?
“Could you doe me a favour?”
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
How does spider man always come up with such clever comebacks?
Because with great power, comes great response ability.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
Did you hear about the doctor who was practicing bee venom therapy without a license?
He was arrested in a sting operation.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
What kind of car does an otter drive? A Furrari.