What do you call an elephant that never washes?
A smelly-phant.
What do you call a thirsty bee?
Beehydrated
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
What do rodents say when they play bingo? 'Eyes down for a full mouse'!
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
What's the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One's awake in the night and the other's a wake in the day.
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
What do you do if a rabbit keeps pooping in your yard? Take him to a pellet court.
2 flies are playing soccer on a plate.
One says to the other "you'd better pick up your game Louie, we're playing in the cup tomorrow".
How do you catch a Polynesian squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a coconut.
Turtles that commit crime are sent to the shell-block.
What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater.
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
What did the baby rabbit say before his favorite holiday? I carrot wait for the Easter Bunny to visit.
What did the beaver say to the river? Meet me around the bend.
All seals live at the same elevation
Seal level.
How do you ask a dinosaur to lunch? Tea Rex?
What do you call a lobster that's afraid of tight spaces?
Claw-strophobic
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
How do you catch a unique bunny? Unique up on it.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
What’s black, dangerous and hides in trees?
A crow with a machine gun.
My Roomba accidentally rolled out of my front door, and the neighborhood squirrels and rabbits immediately started attacking it.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
Why did the giraffe graduate early?
He was head and shoulders above the rest of the class.
Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
Because they had a crush on each other.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
Which dinosaur is pure evil? Daemonosaurus.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
Why did the bear quit his job at the daycare center?
It was panda-monium.
Why was the mosquito sad on christmas?
It was a bah hum bug.
What medicine do you give to sick ants?
Antibiotics.
What do tigers sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells! Jungle bells!
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
What do you get when you cross a tortoise and a llama?
A turtle-neck sweater.