What did the bus driver say to the frog?
Hop on.
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
Why was the crow so angry after his stand up comedy gig? The venue paid him in coffee instead of caw fee.
Top 25 Funniest Duck Names:
1. James Pond
2. Quack Sparrow
3. Duck Norris
4 Quacks-a-Lot
5 Quackhead
6 Quacko
7. Quackers
8. Nutquacker
9. Quacker Jack
10. Quack Efron
11. Quack Black
12. Moby Duck
13. Quackula
14. Sir Duckington
15. Eggbert
16. Quackers
17. Duckleberry Finn
18. Quacker Jack
19. Lucky Duck
20. Cheese and quackers
21. Quaker Jack
22. Duckingham Palace
23.Waddles
24. Quackie Chan
25 Firequacker
Picking your favorite snack can be like picking the slowest turtle in the pack.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large chested crab?
One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean
Two flies were fighting on a toilet seat.
One got pissed.
What did the river ask the beaver? "Water you doing today?"
What do birds like to put in their soup? Crow-tons.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them? Mice Krispies!
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside? A mouse sandwich!
What did the llama say when he found out he had been robbed?
“I’ve been fleeced!”
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What do you call a bear that jumps but never lands?
Peter Panda.
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
Why shouldn’t you drive with a vampire?
He will drive you batty.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once.
It had its ups and downs.
The wolf crossed the road because it was chasing the chicken.
There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
What did the llama say when he was invited to the picnic?
Alpaca lunch.
What did the bat say when she was invited to dinner?
No, fangs. I just ate.
What is a koala’s favorite exercise?
Bearobics.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
What do you get if you stand between two llamas?
Llamanated.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
What did the bat do when she did not know the answer in class?
She winged it.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What was the motto of the unique deer? Deer to be different!
What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?
A mouseketeer!
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?
"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"
I told a friend that I thought his pet zebra was a fake. He said, “Well spotted”.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus
What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A LAMBorghini