What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
How many rabbits does it take to change a light bulb? Only one if it hops right to it.
What is a deer’s favorite after-school snack?
“Doe-nuts.”
What did Dracula say when he saw a giraffe for the first time?
I’d like to get to gnaw you.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
Bee warned.
Bee puns really sting.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
What’s the difference between a gross bus stop and a crab with large breasts?
One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?
Mouse code!
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
What bee is most indecisive?
A May bee!
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What to spiders eat in Paris?
French flies.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
Why didn’t the koala bear get the job? He was underkoalafied. How did he fix this? By going back to koalage.
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
What did the deer say to his friend during their night in the woods?
This is so much fawn!
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
What do you need to know to teach a dinosaur tricks? More than the dinosaur.
What did they Turkey say to the blade of grass? Nice knawing you!
Tigers are probably the most roarsome animal ever created!
Why did the lion cross the road? Because he saw a zebra-crossing...
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
Why did the giraffe graduate early?
He was head and shoulders above the rest of the class.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
Today I learned that mosquitoes love type-B blood.
Oops. sorry, type-O.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
We were all sturtled by the incoming news.
The wolf crossed the road because it was chasing the chicken.
I’m putting an official ban on rabbit puns. They are not bunny anymore.
What do you can an owl who's been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
What do you call a fly with no Wings?
A walk.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
I met this really beautiful crustacean, but I lobst her number.
What do you call a stoned, dyslexic crow?
A hybrid
What do you get when you cross an owl with an oyster?
Pearls of wisdom.
What do llamas always say after yoga class?
“Llamaste.”
What do you call a zoo that has only giraffes in it?
Giraffic Park.