If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
What does a mosquito say to greet his girlfriend?
"M'laria."
What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? Try Sara's Tops
Where do llamas go on vacation?
Alpacapuco.
I have a flamingo friend who has a fantastic imagination, but they are always indulging in flights of fancy.
What do llamas always say after yoga class?
“Llamaste.”
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
Why did the otter cross the river?
To get to the otter side
What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A long shot.
Why does the dolphin kingdom never go to war?
Because it would defeat the porpoise.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What do crows read? Cawmics.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
What’s black and white, has four legs and a trunk?
Two pandas on holiday.
How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What do you call a happy rabbit? An Hop-timist.
Who is a crow’s favorite actor? Russell Crow!
What do you call a really happy ant?
Exuber-ant.
Why don’t dolphins have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy? Eggsercise, particularly hareobics!
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
When you swat a mosquito on your arm
Its death is in vein.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What's an albino crow called? A caw-casian.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Wondering what crows prefer with soup, crows like crowtons in their soup.
What do you call a nervous baby ant?
A little antsy.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
I saw a squirrel throw up today! It was nuts!
What do you call a holy squirrel?
A chipmunk.
What is a worm's favorite band? Mud.
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
What do you call an electrically charged seal?
A seal ion.
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea-weed.