What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
How do llamas say “Merry Christmas” in Spanish?
Fleece Navidad.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
Why do worms hate graveyards?
They keep bumping into skeletons!
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist.
Did you hear about the woman who complained about her rabbit stew? She said there was a hare in her soup.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
Why didn’t the koala bear get the job? He was underkoalafied. How did he fix this? By going back to koalage.
Who were the original transformers? Vampire bats!
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.
Where do monkeys go to drink?
To the monkey bars.
Why was the conservative buffalo disappointed in his child?
He was a bison.
Where does a dinosaur lay in the sun? At the dino-shore
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
I have a flamingo friend who has a fantastic imagination, but they are always indulging in flights of fancy.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What do you call a Spanish goat with no hind legs?
Gracias.
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
Why did the bat walk in her pijamas to take a bath?
Because she did not have a bat robe.
What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? Anything you want. He can't hear you.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats it's vegetables? A.brocileasoarus
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
Why are beavers only found in freshwaters? Because they don't like stale water.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
A wolfswagon rabbit is by far the best car you can gift a wolf.
An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.
He was consumed by pride.
An owl had a sore throat but wasn't bothered.
He couldn't give a hoot.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
Why did the rabbit like the adventure? It was a “hare-raising tail.”
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Q: What did the sign for the party for beavers say?
A: Beaver or be square.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
What did the crow decide to dress up as on Halloween? As a scarecrow.
Once you've seen one Lion eat a Giraffe...
You've seen a maul!
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
A group of crows drooling over a pastry is called a-tempted murder.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.