What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
The good pony apologized to the tiger at the zoo for his sore throat, he said: "I am sorry, I am a little horse."
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are qwacked.
What did the duck eat for snack?
Salted Quackers.
When you swat a mosquito on your arm
Its death is in vein.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
When is a turkey scary?
When it's a goblin.
What is a koala’s favorite soft drink? Koka-Koala, of course!
What do you get when you cross a tortoise and a llama?
A turtle-neck sweater.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a poison frog?
A croakadile.
what do you call it when a lady mammal that enjoys swimming a lot, who has an unattractive twin sister, fires a gun at one of her gym buddies who also happens to work with clay as their profession?
hotter water otter daughter shot her potter spotter
Why shouldn’t you tell an owl your secrets?
They’re always talon everyone.
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
Why didn't the frog park on the side of the road?
He was afraid of getting toad.
Zebras usually hold strong opinions. They are very black and white creatures.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What do ducks watch on TV?
Duck-umentaries.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Croak-et.
Where do monkeys go when they lose their tails?
To a retailer.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
What's more impressive than a talking fish?
A spelling bee.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Heard about the beaver who can split huge logs with his eyes? Yes, he just saw the logs, and they broke into two.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What do you call a stampeding herd of llamas?
The alpacalypse.
It’s the fawn of a new day! - said the deer happily after waking up.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus!
Why do snakes always measure in inches?
Because they don’t have any feet.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
One day I saw a squirrel burying lotto tickets under a large bush, so I asked him what he was doing.
He told me he was hedging his bets.
How do pink birds make friends? They fla-mingle.
A spider crawled under my keyboard a few minutes ago.
Good news: I’ve got it under Ctrl.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
I tried to keep a koala in my house, but the smell was just unBEARable.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What Did The Duck Say When The Waitress Came?
Put it on my bill!