What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large chested crab?
One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean
Are beavers the best builders in the animal kingdom? Dam right they are.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasabee?"
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
What do you get if cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle-neck jumper.
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
How do you find zebra?
Look under zeshirt.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
How do bats greet a friend?
With a sound wave.
Who is the worm's Prime Minister? Maggot Thatcher.
Rabbits are trying to eat away my old Toyota!
Mechanic said it could be car rot.
The group of beavers loved the river because it has a really bubbly personality.
How do you catch a rich squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a cashew.
How many mosquito's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only 2, no idea how they got there.
How does spider man always come up with such clever comebacks?
Because with great power, comes great response ability.
Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation? To the dino-shore.
When he was chewing the skeleton, the wolf got to a point and laughed. I guess that was the funny bone.
Why did the bunny say to the duck? You quack me up!
How do tigers like their cheese?
Grrrrreated
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
That raven is so stubborn at times, he just needs to crow up.
What do crows read? Cawmics.
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tell it a funny Halloween joke and see which end laughs!
Have you seen my lobster?
I'm worried he might by a lost claws.
Why did the elephant start the stampede?
Because it wanted to be herd.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
Why are two parrots better than one? One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan!
Q. What does one teen buck say to oad another into doing something risky?
A. I double deer you!
Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
What do you call an animal you keep in your car?
A Carpet
What is the only animal smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee!
What's white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog.
What is a grandma sheep called?
A baaaa-nana
What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
Hopera.
Flamingos are pretty good at ideas… They have a lot of experience with formation.
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
What's the difference between a sniper with Parkinson's Disease and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but can't hit...
Did you hear about the woman who complained about her rabbit stew? She said there was a hare in her soup.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
Who is king of all the mice?
Mouse Tse Tung!
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a mammoth’s tusk?
A sabre-toothed tiger.
How do snails get their shells so shiny? They use snail varnish!
Why don't crabs give birthday presents?
Because they're just shellfish.
What do you call the worlds tallest mosquito?
Himalarya.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.