Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish.
What did the librarian say to the beaver who wanted to read a help book? You can try by-rowing it.
What did the beaver say to the other beaver? I love you like no otter.
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
What is a koala’s favorite type of fruit? Bearies.
What goes white black white black white black red?
A panda that falls from a cliff.
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
Why are parrots the life of the party? Every day is their bird-day!
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
The baby crow decided to dress up as his favorite vegetable on Halloween, he dressed up as a caw-liflower.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
What do snakes do when they get angry?
They throw hissy fits.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
There was a recent study showing that crows were hit a lot more by trucks than cars...
they came to the conclusion that this was because crows can warn each other by going "CAAAR CAAAR" but can't say "TRUCK TRUCK".
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?
"Do not consume if seal is broken."
Where do parrots get away on holiday? To the beak!
For waterproofing their nests, crows buy caw-king.
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
What does the like to parrot wear to the beach? A beak-ini!
Why do cows have no money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
You cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo and you end up with a turtle
neck jumper.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor.
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
What is a lion’s favourite cheese?
Roarquefort
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
Flamingos are great to go out with, because they all party like flock stars.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
A sloth walks in to a bar and waves to get the bartender’s attention, and says I’ll have...... a soda water.
The bartender replies “why the long paws?”
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What hotel do mice stay in ? The Stilton
When you cross a wolf and Fred Astaire, you get dances with wolves.
Did you hear about the birds of prey on black Friday?
It was a free for owl.
It’s really easy to send a nice card to a flamingo. You just write “Hope you have a flamingood…”
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
Why don't squirrels wear skinny jeans?
Because their nuts won't fit.
What do birds like to put in their soup? Crow-tons.