I tried to phone the spiritual leader of Tibet once, but I was sent a big goat with a long neck instead.
I must have phoned Dial-a-Llama by mistake.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?
It’s Eeleagle.
What did the zoologist and the herbalist name their child? Tiger Woods.
Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.
A Zebra said to a Lion “Let’s swap roles for a while."
The Lion said “ I’m game!”.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What is the maggot army called? The Apple Corps.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch? Strawberry jam.
What does a Saudi bee call its bros?
Habibees.
What do you call an ant that moves to another country?
An emigr-ant.
What do you call a camel with three humps?
Pregnant.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
Did you hear about the koala bear in the church choir? Yeah, they say he sings bearitone.
What happens when a koala drinks too much alcohol? He gets a bear gut.
For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
Q: What time is it when a tiger walks into the room?
A: Time to get out of the room.
2 flies are playing soccer on a plate.
One says to the other "you'd better pick up your game Louie, we're playing in the cup tomorrow".
What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain ? A Stegosau-rust.
What do you get when you cross ants with ticks?
All sorts of antics.
What do crows drink in order to stay awake? They drink cawfee.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
You have goat to be kidding me.
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An animal who never forgets to eat its carrots.
What do rodents say when they play bingo? 'Eyes down for a full mouse'!
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
What do you call a handsome seal?
Mr. Seal Yo Girl.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
I love eating glow worms
Especially as a light snack
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
If a goat grows a beard, is it a goatee?
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.