The cawllarborne of the skinny crow was so pronounced.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up
We have always been in turtle awe of her artistic skills.
What’s a dolphin’s favorite constellation?
The Big Dipper!
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
What do you call a snake that informs the police?
A grass snake.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
Why did the parrot cross the road? Just beak-ause!
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
My pet seal was getting a bit old and wrinkly
...so I bought a seal iron
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
Our kids tee ball team, the Tigers, won the championship. All the parents were very proud and put in for a little statuette of the front of a tiger to give them to celebrate. When it came in, for some reason it was the back half of a tiger.
Needless to say, it was a cat ass trophy.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
What do you call a maternal Turkish robot water weasel?
An Ottoman otter-mom automaton.
I know a guy who absolutely loves his pet Parrot.
He is Polly-Amorous.
Why had the beaver left the pond? He thought it was too shallow.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
What is it called when a dinosaur hits a homerun?
A Dino-Score.
What do frogs drink?
Croak-a-cola.
The big cat was known around town to wear a lot of funky ties. Everyone called him the tie-ger.
Where do koalas go to settle legal matters? A kangaroo court!
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
Beaver jokes
Can be pretty dam funny.
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
Wondering what crows prefer with soup, crows like crowtons in their soup.
How can a camel walk the desert without getting hungry? Because of all the sandwhiches there.
Who is the wasps' favorite singer?
Sting.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
One of my friends who hates crows, looked at a flock of crows, I saw murder in his eyes.
What type of food do worms like?
Your Halloween Candy!
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
Why does the paparazzi beaver have a camera pointing towards the river? To keep up with current events and give main-stream updates.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
What do bees use to build roads? Nec-tar.
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.
A group of crows drooling over a pastry is called a-tempted murder.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
Why was the crow upset about his job? The HR fired the crow with no caws.
What do you call an animal you keep in your car?
A Carpet
What do Chinese bears eat for breakfast?
Panda-cakes!
I have so many Easter puns, it’s not even bunny.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!