Why do turtles never forget?
Because they have turtle recall.
I have the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end? It was won by a hare!
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
The favourite day of the week for wolves is moonday.
An owl had a sore throat but wasn't bothered.
He couldn't give a hoot.
What did the river say to the beaver? You look so tide'y.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
What does a ghost panda eat?
BamBOO!
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
Why did the T-Rex get a ticket? He ran through the stomp sign.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
What do you call a bird that can fix anything?
Duck Tape.
What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress? Rep. Tile!
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Why don`t ducks tell jokes when they fly?
Because they would quack up.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why are owls so good at math?
They excel at owlgebra.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
Due to social distancing, I had a conversation with a spider today,
Seems nice, he’s a web designer.
What’s black and white and goes up and down?
A panda who’s stuck in a lift.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
What do you call a camel that looks the same from both directions?
A palindromedary!
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
What did the lollipop lady say to the zebra crossing?
'You're stripping me of a job.'
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.