What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
What bee is most indecisive?
A May bee!
Did you hear about the rabbit who refused to leave her house? She was having a bad hare day.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
Why do mice need oiling ?
Because they squeak !
What is a frog's favorite time?
Leap year.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What Disney movie can a deer watch over and over again?
Fawn-tasia.
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
The baby crow decided to dress up as his favorite vegetable on Halloween, he dressed up as a caw-liflower.
I got in a fight with a crab yesterday.
When I punched him he ran, goon.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Q. How do the doe and stag open the entry to their vacation cabin in the woods?
A. They just turn the deer knob.
Due to social distancing, I had a conversation with a spider today,
Seems nice, he’s a web designer.
What kind of dinosaur works for the police? A trisara-cop.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares!
What did the first century Christian say about the lion that killed his wife?
I'm Gladiator.
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
I heard someone broke out of prison using a sheep
I didn’t believe it until I saw the news and he was on the lamb.
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
Neck-romance-y.
My pet raven, Poe, started coughing... thought it was Corvid-19, but then the bird flu away. Think I will see him nevermore.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
What do you call a nervous baby ant?
A little antsy.
What do you call a flying elephant?
A jumbo jet.
What is a koala’s favorite soft drink? Koka-Koala, of course!
What did the banana do when he saw the monkey?
The banana split.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
Prime-Mates!
Have you ever seen a fish cry?
No, but I’ve seen a whale blubber.
Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?
Because they believed in gibbon take.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
What do you call a bee you can't understand? A mumble bee.
What did the baby mouse do when she saw a bat?
She ran home and told her mother she saw an angel
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
What did the rabbit say to its wife? No bunny compares to you.