Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
What do you call a fascist mosquito?
Benito Mosquitollini.
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
What did the duck eat for snack?
Salted Quackers.
When you cross a wolf and Fred Astaire, you get dances with wolves.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball?
A home run.
Making puns ha?
Toucan play that game.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
In order to be efficient, I named my parrots Roger, Gene, and Mick.
Two Byrds, one Stone.
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
Why don't dinosaurs ever forget? Because no one ever tells them anything!
What does a chocolate crow say? “Cacao!”
What’s black and white and goes round and round?
A panda stuck in a revolving door.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
Wondering what crows wear during Halloween, well, they wear caw-stumes.
What did the dolphin say when it broke its neighbor’s window?
It wasn’t on porpoise!
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A do-you-think-he-saur-us.
Whoever lives by the sword shell die by it.
How do bats spend their time?
Flying and hanging out.
What did the dolphin say to its friend who wouldn’t stop lying?
Stop spouting nonsense!
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies.
Who would win a game of hide and seek between a dalmatian and a tiger? The tiger because he wouldn't be spotted.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
Do you know what kind of stock to use when making neotropical near-passerine bird soup?
Doesnt matter, as long as you put Toucans in.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
Turtles love taking shell-fies.
How do you get yarn out of a snake?
Wait until it sheds its skein.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid.
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
Just a buffalo laying down, bisoness as usual.
What’s black and white and bounces?
A rubber panda.
For waterproofing their nests, crows buy caw-king.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
Each year, lots of wolves go treating in howl-o-ween.
Did you hear about the owl who married a goat?
The had a hootenanny.
How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses.