What is a Leatherback Sea Turtles favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What do you call a bat with the flu?
An airborne disease.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
Q: What does the tiger use to brush his mane?
A: A catacomb.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
What do you call a turtle chef?
A slow cooker.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
What did one crow say to the other after the party?
We were raven.
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit? A poultrygeist!
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What did the goat farmer’s wife say to her husband when he was swearing on the job?
“Not in front of the kids!”
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
What do you give a sick snake?
Asp-rin.
What do you call a famous turtle?
A shell-ebrity.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.
They couldn’t fit in.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Ears.
Ears who?
Ears one more beaver joke for you.
Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
Why are rabbits so lucky? They have four rabbit’s feet.
A sheep, an idiot, and a snake walk into a bar.
Baaaa dumb hisssssss.
What do sloths make when it snows? Slow Angels.
Why should you never do math with a tiger?
If you add 4+4 you're gonna get ate.
When a lion takes a lioness from another lion, he kills and eats any cubs she has. You'd think he'd be ashamed of himself.
But apparently he just swallows his pride.
Why are frogs so good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
What do you call a bat who gets a charge out of life?
A battery.
What is the name of the final exam you take when studying bird law? The crow bar.
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Beakaboo
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
What do rodents say when they play bingo?
‘Eyes down for a full mouse’!
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
How do you know when a crab's drunk?
When it starts walking straight
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
Who is king of all the mice?
Mouse Tse Tung!
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What happened when the koala tripped and fell in a crowded restaurant? He got embearassed.