Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your Halloween bag?
They can lighten your load!
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
What kind of eels can travel on land?
Wheels.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
It’s really easy to send a nice card to a flamingo. You just write “Hope you have a flamingood…”
What do you call a dinosaurs fart? "A blast from the past"
Why should you never throw a snake like a boomerang?
Because it’ll come back to bite you.
A lobster's favorite shot in tennis?
The lob.
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
If you ever own a koala as a pet, make sure you can keep track of it by putting a koalar around its neck.
Two European frogs discuss their ancestry
"So, are you a complete french frog?"
"No. I'm a tad-pole."
Why did the spider crawl up the elephants leg the second time?
It got pissed off the first time.
What kind of hair style does a bee get?
A buzz cut
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What do you call a camel with three humps?
Pregnant.
Which side of a koala bear has the most fur? The outside!
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
All the girls I meet keep thinking I’m a sheep.
Every time they see me they say “Ewe”
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
No, I'm not concerned about crows infesting my house...
It's actually just a mynah problem.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot? Sir.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, 12 claws on each foot and a personal stereo over his ears? Anything you like, he won't hear you!
What is the head of an Italian dinosaur family called? Ptera Don
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
My wife and I have been having trouble communicating. We decided to take a walk when we passed a farm. She said "awww, babe look at the sheep."
"No, ewe." I said.
What do you call a bee who never brags?
A humble-bee
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What did the queen bee say to the naughty bee? Beehive yourself.
How Do Ducks Talk?
They don't, you quack.
What has four legs, four eyes, and a net? Four pirates looking for a lost parrot!
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”