What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
"Swarm."
A well-loved parrot died, and was digitally immortalized in a 3D rendering.
Polygon but not forgotten.
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
How do you make a panda?
Punch a polar bear in the eyes.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
What do you call a tiger who always gets the same grades as one other person? A tie-ger.
How do you measure a mosquito’s harddrive?
With bug bytes.
What do rodents say when they play bingo?
‘Eyes down for a full mouse’!
What do you call a turkey's evil twin?
A Gobblegänger.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
Crows go to get their shopping at Cawst Co.
What did the carrot say to the rabbit? Do you want to grab a bite?
Where does a baby monkey sleep?
In an apricot.
Why did the bees go on strike? Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers.
What’s long, green and goes hith?
A snake with a lisp.
What is the difference between a panda and a polar bear?
About 1,000 miles.
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak? Mouse code!
Turtles communicate with each other through shell phones.
What is a koala’s favorite soft drink? Koka-Koala, of course!
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What style of classical music do sheep most enjoy?
Baa-roque
What do you call a royal giraffe?
Your highness.
I have the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
What did the beaver say to his girlfriend?
Chew make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
Why was the beaver not arrested when he jumped into the Nile? Because he was a juve'nile.
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
The wolf crossed the road because it was chasing the chicken.
What do you call a well-dressed ant?
Eleg-ant.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!