Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
What do you call a maternal Turkish robot water weasel?
An Ottoman otter-mom automaton.
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
What do you call a otter that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
What is the definition of a slug? A snail with a housing problem!
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
How did the macho bee with eczema feel?
B-Itchy
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What do dolphins need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
I saw a beaver and I thought it was odd. Then I saw another semiaquatic creature and I thought it was otter.
Being shellfless entails volunteering at the relief center during disaster.
For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode? What a lavaly day!
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What kind of musical instrument do mice play?
A mouse organ!
What's the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One's awake in the night and the other's a wake in the day.
What kind of car does a mouse drive?
A mini van.
Why did the duck go to the bank?
Because he wanted to get a new bill.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
I'm giving away a free legless parrot.
No perches necessary.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
Which Halloween treat is going to keep a crow up all night? A crowfee apple.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
How fast can a cave become vacant? At the drop of a bat.
How did the beaver introduce his wife? This is my significant otter.
Today I learned that a giraffe’s neck is so strong a human can climb up it.
Also, I got banned from my local zoo.
Why is it hard to carry on a conversation with a goat?
Because they are always butting in.
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance style? Hip-Hop!
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
A beaver's tail makes them look odd.
But without it they would look otter.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
What do you call an ant who doesn’t smell anymore?
Deodor-ant.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.