What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?
I think we should sea otter people.
What fruit do vampire bats like the best?
Neck-tarines.
Why did the bat often use mouthwash? She had bat breath.
Before the Koalaville basketball team can play for the national championship, they have to make it through the koalafying rounds.
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Polyurethane?
What did the river say when it saw beavers for the first time? “Well, I’ll be dammed.”
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
I saw a beaver and I thought it was odd. Then I saw another semiaquatic creature and I thought it was otter.
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
When a dinosaur gets a goal in a soccer tournament, it is known as a dino-score.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
How can you tell if a crab is drunk?
It walks straight
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
What is a three toed sloth's favorite kind of chip?
Fritos.
After graduating from high school, crows go to caw-lleges for further studies.
Why couldn't anyone see the flamingo? It was in de skies.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
Is a goat that eats office supplies on a staple diet?
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What did the duck who learned physics say?
Quark, quark.
A family of beavers were walking across a river. During that time, the dad said to the family: “Dam it.”
No one really enjoys crying wolf. However, the boy did cry just to get a howling experience.
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
What do you call a dinosaur with high heels? My-feet-are-saurus
How do you apologize to a sloth? BEAR your heart and soul.
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
What do you call a bee you can't understand? A mumble bee.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
What do you call a group of dyslexic crows?
A redrum.
The public investigated a box full of crows because it was a murder case.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
We were all sturtled by the incoming news.
What do you call an ant who can see into the future?
Clairvoy-ant.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What do you call an important English snake?
Sir Pent.
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey.