What do you call the worlds tallest mosquito?
Himalarya.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
Why did the bat break up with her girlfriend?
She thought she was a pain in the neck.
Once you've seen one Lion eat a Giraffe...
You've seen a maul!
What’s a bats favorite desert?
I-Scream!
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
What do you call a spider with ten eyes?
A spiiiiiiiiiider.
Did you know that you only need two letters to spell Panda?
You just need P and A.
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.
Which Halloween treat is going to keep a crow up all night? A crowfee apple.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
To stay away from the nuts on the ground.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
What did the bacteria say to the bee to cheer it up?
Gram positive
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What martial art do monkeys practice?
Flung Poo.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
When you cross a camel with a cow, you will end up with a lumpy milkshake.
A spider crawled under my keyboard a few minutes ago.
Good news: I’ve got it under Ctrl.
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
I have so many Easter puns, it’s not even bunny.
What did the dolphin say when it broke its neighbor’s window?
It wasn’t on porpoise!