Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
Why did the parrot cross the road? Just beak-ause!
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
Just a buffalo laying down, bisoness as usual.
What did the deer say after she did her friend a favor?
“You doe me!”
Is a goat that eats office supplies on a staple diet?
What birds should you recycle?
Toucans.
My sister asked me for some spider puns.
I told her to look them up on the web.
What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?
I think we should sea otter people.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
What fruit do vampire bats like the best?
Neck-tarines.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
What do you called a crow that cant find his way?
A lost caws
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
A Zebra said to a Lion “Let’s swap roles for a while."
The Lion said “ I’m game!”.
How do you know if there is a Brachiosaurus in bed with you? By the dinosnores.
What did the river say when it saw beavers for the first time? “Well, I’ll be dammed.”
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.
Where did the duck go when he was sick? A:
To the ducktor.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
What do you call an and with frogs legs?
An antphibian.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
What is the head of an Italian dinosaur family called? Ptera Don
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
What do you get if cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle-neck jumper.
Q. How do the doe and stag open the entry to their vacation cabin in the woods?
A. They just turn the deer knob.
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words.
How do koalas stay in shape? They do bearobics.
What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
What dinosaur is always sad? Cryalotosaurus
What do you call an elephant with an aerial on his head?
An elephant-enna.
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
What Do Ducks Have With Soup?
Quackers
What's a bats favorite desert? I-Scream!
What did the beaver mention to a tree? It has been nice gnawing you.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
What did the banana say to the monkey?
Nothing, bananas don’t talk.
I killed a spider with soap
He got a clean death.
All prominent werewolf movies are produced in howl-lywood.
Who is the worm's Prime Minister? Maggot Thatcher.
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
My pet raven, Poe, started coughing... thought it was Corvid-19, but then the bird flu away. Think I will see him nevermore.
Why are tigers said to be religious? Because they frequently prey with all their family members.