What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
What kind of aquatic animal thinks you did a good job?
The seal of approval.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ? As fur as you can get!
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus
Why do mice have long tails?
Well, they’d look silly with long hair!
What will you get if you cross an ice bear and a running tiger? Frostbite.
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
I am an introvert, but you know how to bring me out of my shell.
How does a crab go when it's right?
"Aw, snap!"
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because its head is so far from its body.
What did the baby mouse do when she saw a bat?
She ran home and told her mother she saw an angel
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a Spider? A Hare net!
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
Whoever lives by the sword shell die by it.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
How do you offer a camel tea?
"One hump or two?"
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
If a four-legged animal a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, what’s a tiger?
Stri-ped.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
How do you make a duck sing soul music?
Put him in the microwave until his Bill Withers
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
In the croakroom.
What kind of camel throws a hissy fit when you milk it?
A drama dairy.
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
A bear covered in a bunch of crows gives the picture of a grizzly murder.
A beaver's experience in college deep-ends on if they go to the best university.
What do you get when two giraffes run into each other?
A giraffic jam.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
Grandma runs the kitchen like a turtle-tarian; give her some space there.
What do you call a wasp who is having a bad hair day?
A frizz-bee
Can birds sell cereal to children?
I don't know if one can, but toucan.
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.