What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw. Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ? A dino-sewer.
The public investigated a box full of crows because it was a murder case.
Why don’t tigers like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up.
Did you hear about the guy who killed a group of catholic crows?
It was Mass murder
How can you tell if there is a dinosaur in bed with you? By the `D' on his pajamas.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain ? A Stegosau-rust.
What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
Did you hear what happened to the Energizer Bunny? He got arrested for Battery.
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Beakaboo
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
What do you call an otter with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Where do dolphin races end?
Dolphinish line!
Why should you never throw a snake like a boomerang?
Because it’ll come back to bite you.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
A flamingo only ever asks for a plaster when it hurts its pinky.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
A flamingo can be a really good friend to have. However, they generally fit the bill really well.
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What is a flamingo's favorite ride at a theme park? The flamingo-karts.
What does a Triceratops sit on? Its Tricera-bottom.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
What does a French beaver call his dam? Ma'dame.
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
Accidentally ran over a French seal today .
Phoque.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? Try Sara's Tops
How do you get yarn out of a snake?
Wait until it sheds its skein.
What do polite whales always say?
You’re whale-come.
There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
What kind of turkey grows on a tree? Poultry.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
I told a friend that I thought his pet zebra was a fake. He said, “Well spotted”.
What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
Why don’t koalas like fast food? Because it’s too hard for them to catch.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.