You cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo and you end up with a turtle
neck jumper.
I saw a beaver and I thought it was odd. Then I saw another semiaquatic creature and I thought it was otter.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
Did you heard about the zombie crow? He wants to eat your grains.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
Q. Where do Midwest does prefer to give birth?
A. Deerborn, Michigan.
What makes more noise than a dinosaur ? Two dinosaurs!
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
What to spiders eat in Paris?
French flies.
What's better than a talking dinosaur ? A spelling bee. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-Try-Try-ceratops.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Why did the owl 'owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck 'er.
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
What is a mouse’s favorite game?
Hide and squeak!
Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks: “Is this stool taken?”
I know this bird who was excluded from his flock for being too big
He was ostrich-sized.
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
How do bats spend their time?
Flying and hanging out.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Every koala supports the idea of being able to defend themselves against tyranny. They believe in having the right to bear claws.
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ? Any kind! A house cannot jump!
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
Have you ever wondered which part of the flamingo has the most feathers? I found out once – turns out it’s the outside.
What kind of gang violence is common among owls?
A drive by hooting.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? Because she had no guts!
A spider called a tech support office.
He needed help connecting to the web.
What do crows read? Cawmics.
Don't give up at this stage, just keep cawing on, you will do great.
What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels? Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
Q: What time is it when a tiger walks into the room?
A: Time to get out of the room.
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
A lion would never cheat on its wife.
But a Tiger wood.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
What are unsolved murders called when it happens in a society of crows? Murder mysteries.