What do koalas do when they’re facing a tough situation? They grin and bear it.
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jump rope.
A famous turtle is called a shell-ebrity.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
Why do zebras have stripes?
Because they don't want to be spotted.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
What is the most affordable type of meat that we would purchase?
“Dear balls because they are always under a buck.”
What did the drug diller say to the duck?
Are you on quack?
Why do bees stay in the hive during the winter?
Swarm.
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
When can three giant dinosaurs get under an umbrella and not get wet? When it's not raining!
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot? Sir.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, 12 claws on each foot and a personal stereo over his ears? Anything you like, he won't hear you!
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
Where did the hamsters invade the beaver colony? Hamsterdam.
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What did the bacteria say to the bee to cheer it up?
Gram positive
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
Their engagement is yet to be made offishell.
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
Today I learned that a giraffe’s neck is so strong a human can climb up it.
Also, I got banned from my local zoo.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.