Where does a baby monkey sleep?
In an apricot.
here do lobsters go to borrow money? The prawn broker.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
Why are crows the safest flying birds?
They're the most CAWtious.
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
What did the llama say to the grass?
“Nice gnawing you!”
Making puns ha?
Toucan play that game.
Who were the original transformers? Vampire bats!
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What kind of seal do you get on letters from Turkey?
A stamped bull.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What happened when the bear applied at the movie theater?
He was told he was not koala-fied.
What Kind of Books do Rabbits Read? Ones with Hoppy Endings.
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
How do bats greet a friend?
With a sound wave.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
Why did they take Polly away?
He went crackers!
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
Crows have 16 feather pinions and ravens have 17 pinions. It's just a matter of a pinion.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What sport do wasps love?
Sting-pong.
What do crows read? Cawmics.
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
What do you call a camel that looks the same from both directions?
A palindromedary!
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
What's an albino crow called? A caw-casian.
Where do otters keep their money? In the river bank!
Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are qwacked.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
What do you call someone who tells too many dinosaur jokes?
A dino-bore.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?
"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
Wondering what crows prefer with soup, crows like crowtons in their soup.
What happened when the tiger ate the comedian?
He felt funny!
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
Why do pandas love watching classic movies?
Because they are in black and white.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.