Animal Puns

Animals and puns are two terrific things. Put them together and things get really punny!

Animal Puns

Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?
At least the otter knows he's not a seal.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
What do you call an important English snake?
Sir Pent.
What kind of ant is good at math?
An account-ant.
An owl had a sore throat but wasn't bothered.
He couldn't give a hoot.
Where do Egyptians seal away their drugs?
In a narcophagus.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Hunting elephants is illegal as ivory well know.
Where do koalas go to settle legal matters? A kangaroo court!
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
Who’s a llama’s favorite U.S. president?
Barack Ollama.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
My lobster's name is:
Claude
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What did the wife beaver say to her astronaut husband? You are otter this world.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
What do you call a fly with no Wings?
A walk.
What did the Easter bunny say about the Easter parade?It was eggs-cellent.
What side of a tiger has the most stripes? The outside.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
Q: What did the sign for the party for beavers say?
A: Beaver or be square.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A sunburned panda.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
Why did the Koala cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Who is a beaver's most favorite pop singer ever? Justin Beaver.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
What did the bat say when she was invited to dinner?
No, fangs. I just ate.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
My Roomba accidentally rolled out of my front door, and the neighborhood squirrels and rabbits immediately started attacking it.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
Why was the Navy Seal sad?
He doesn't like the color blue.
What is a parrot's favourite colour shade?
Polly-chromatic
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.