What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
My pet owl will soon turn 180.
He's not old, he just has a bad neck.
What do you call a bat with ebola? African batman.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
Why are beavers only found in freshwaters? Because they don't like stale water.
Why are two parrots better than one? One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan!
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
What’s a rabbit’s favorite game? Hopscotch!
Every koala supports the idea of being able to defend themselves against tyranny. They believe in having the right to bear claws.
When you cross a sheep and a wolf, you will end up with a new sheep, you can’t make such a costly mistake with wolves.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels? Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
I met this really beautiful crustacean, but I lobst her number.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What did the wife beaver say to her astronaut husband? You are otter this world.
What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
What happened when the kid got confused with beavers and coypus in the exam? He said, " I otter know better."
What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
What does a monkey wear while cooking?
An ape-ron.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
Why did the dolphin end its own life?
It was missing a porpoise.
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks: “Is this stool taken?”
What does a dinosaur call a porcupine? A toothbrush.
When can three giant dinosaurs get under an umbrella and not get wet? When it's not raining!
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
Why don’t dolphins have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What did the drug diller say to the duck?
Are you on quack?
Q: What did the sign for the party for beavers say?
A: Beaver or be square.
What do you call someone who tells too many dinosaur jokes?
A dino-bore.
What’s the difference between a healthy rabbit and an odd rabbit? One is a fit bunny, and the other’s a bit funny!
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
I have the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
Looking after more than one elephant at a time requires the ability to multi-tusk.
A zoo owner introduced his tiger to the visitors by saying "this is the most paw-some tiger at the zoo".
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
The inventor of mosquito repellent likely did not know where to begin...
I guess he would have to start from scratch.
If you were in the jungle and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.