What do you call a flying elephant?
A jumbo jet.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
What do you get when you put four ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What do you call a bee who never brags?
A humble-bee
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
Crows, they just love sports, crow-quet to be precise.
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
A star athlete in Koalaville got kicked off the Olympic team for cheating. Unfortunately, he was diskoalafied.
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
A magician once said he could make a tiger disappear but only transformed it into a tabby cat...
It was a sleight exaggeration.
Where do crows go to get educated?
CAWlege
How do elephants bathe?
With their trunks on.
I bought my rabbit a fancy new hutch. But he doesn’t seem to carrot all.
That raven is so stubborn at times, he just needs to crow up.
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
A flying turtle is called a shellicopter.
What do you get if you cross a pelican and zebra? Two streets further away.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
Why did the dinosaur paint her toenails red? So she could hide in the strawberry patch!
I went to the zoo today....
only to find out that some aquatic mammals had escaped.
It was otter chaos.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
What's worse than lobsters on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
Q: What’s a tiger’s favorite color?
A: Roar-range.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What did the snail say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
All the girls I meet keep thinking I’m a sheep.
Every time they see me they say “Ewe”
What do you name a synthetic parrot?
PollyEster
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.