What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
Why did the beaver cross the river? To get to the other side of the river.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
Why did the bunny build herself a new house? She was fed up with the hole thing!
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't eat, drink, or even walk? A computer mouse.
Why did the owl 'owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck 'er.
Where do llamas go on vacation?
Alpacapuco.
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
My pet turtle died.
I'm not upset - just shell-shocked.
Why don't squirrels wear skinny jeans?
Because their nuts won't fit.
Where do Egyptians seal away their drugs?
In a narcophagus.
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What did the bat say to the diabetic? Nice knawing you!
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
Why did the man wear a rabbit as a hat? He didn’t want anyone to harm a Hare on his head!
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
What do your call a dinosaur with one eye? Eye-saur.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Doyouthinkhesawus
What do you call a koala with no teeth? A gummy bear.
What do you get when a dinosaur blows it's nose? OUT of the way!!
How was the first giraffe made?
Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
Q. What can a buck take after a night of drinking at a stag party?
A. Elk-a-seltzer.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
What do you call a room full of crows? Crowded.
What did the eye witness say about the camel who was using the bushes as a lavatory?
I saw the hump take a dump in a clump
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
I wanted to catch a squirrel but I didn't know how.
So I decided to climb a tree and act like a nut.
What did the deer say to her daughter?
“Soon you’ll be all doe-n up!”
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
What did the baby mosquito say after his first flight?
“Mama, mama! Did you see that? Everyone was clapping for me!”
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
Q: What’s a tiger’s favorite color?
A: Roar-range.
I told a friend that I thought his pet zebra was a fake. He said, “Well spotted”.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What did the Inuit say to to Englishman After he wanted some seal?
"I've got Nunavut."
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
Their engagement is yet to be made offishell.
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
Some see a puddle of mosquito larva.
I see a pool of enbitenment.
What do you get if you cross a wasp with a doorbell?
A hum-dinger!
Dad Bee left. Mama Bee calls out ...
Honeycomb home!
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.