An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.
He was consumed by pride.
What do you call a group of crows eating a box of corn flakes?
A cereal murder.
What do you call an ant who can see into the future?
Clairvoy-ant.
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
What do you call an owl who knows how to do magic tricks?
Hoodini.
Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because they wouldn't take a bath!
Did You Hear About The Duck Who Thought He Was a Squirrel?
It was one tough nut to quack.
What did the irritated crow said to his fried?
I won't talk to you if you don’t stop ravening.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
What do you call a sloth that barely moves a muscle? A slow-off (show off).
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.
It’s pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
Where do llamas go on vacation?
Alpacapuco.
What does the mouse say to its mate? "Were like crackers and cheese"
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
A werewolf that is confused on what to wear is not a dumb one, instead it is a what-to-wear-wolf.
A lion would never cheat on its wife.
But a Tiger wood.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
I saw a squirrel throw up today! It was nuts!
What do you call a holy squirrel?
A chipmunk.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Crowing, crowing, gone.
Have you ever wondered which part of the flamingo has the most feathers? I found out once – turns out it’s the outside.
I like you, you croc my world.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
Who would win a game of hide and seek between a dalmatian and a tiger? The tiger because he wouldn't be spotted.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
What do crows take for their gut issues? crow-biotics.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Why did the dinosaur paint her toenails red? So she could hide in the strawberry patch!
When does a bat go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
What is an owl’s dream occupation?
Flight attendant.
A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
What did one beaver say to the other at the river? Dam it.
I just got back from Dubai where I was offered 40 camels for my wife.
I usually smoke Marlboro but hey... a deal's a deal.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”