What was the scariest prehistoric animal? The Terror-dactyl!
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What is a medieval owl called?
A knight owl.
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
What do you can an ant scientist?
Albert Antstein.
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
An army of werewolves is known as a Fur-eign Legion.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
If you have a bee in your hand, what do you have in your eye? Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
What do you call a lobster with a Christmas hat?
Santa Claws
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.
Baby seal walks into a club...
Years later he would sing A kiss from a rose in the same club.
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
The guy nearly saw a murder when he almost ran over his car over a couple of crows.
What does Miley Cyrus eat at Christmas? Twerk-ey!
What do you call a three-eyed tiger?
A tiiiger.
What did the bunny say to its crush? Hey there hop stuff.
What has 4 wheels and flies?
Garbage truck
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
Did the dinosaur take a bath ? Why, is there one missing?
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk?
Dirty looks from the mouse!
"Dad, what's it called if I like both boys and girls," the buffalo said.
"I believe would be a bi-son," his father replied.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
Which are the best mathematicians amongst the snake family?
The adders.
After graduating from high school, crows go to caw-lleges for further studies.
The worst part about being a giraffe…
Is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you’re sinking into quicksand.
Where do bad beavers go?
They're dammed to hell.
Where did Noah keep his bees? In his archive.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What did the owl booty text his girlfriend?
I’ve been thinking about you owl night long.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
My friend uses a white crow to protect his farm from other crows
He calls it a rarecrow
Why should you never throw a snake like a boomerang?
Because it’ll come back to bite you.
What do Chinese bears wear over their faces when they’re robbing banks?
Pandanas!
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
Can birds sell cereal to children?
I don't know if one can, but toucan.
What will you get if you cross a tiger and a watchdog? A terrified watchman.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
What did the Easter bunny say to the carrot?It’s been nice gnawing you.
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed!