What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? A Diplodocus with a sore throat!
Why did the T-Rex get a ticket? He ran through the stomp sign.
Why didn’t the koala bear get the job? He was underkoalafied. How did he fix this? By going back to koalage.
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
What do you get if you cross a pelican and zebra? Two streets further away.
The farmer cried wolf when all his three pigs were mauled by the jungle wolf.
What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A bunny ribbit.
I asked a beaver out on a date. The beaver replied: “Gnaw.” I said: “Dam.”
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
I asked what the lion in my wardrobe was doing.
He said it was Narnia business
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
What do you do if a rabbit keeps pooping in your yard? Take him to a pellet court.
What has more lives than a cat?
A frog because it croaks every night.
What did the Tyrannosaurus rex get after mopping the floor? Dino-sore!
My pet parrot, Nickel, just passed away.
Now I have a Nickel-less cage.
How do rabbits travel? By hareplane.
Why was the conservative buffalo disappointed in his child?
He was a bison.
Which frog has horns?
A bull frog.
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
Why cant a mosquito stand on his feet?
because they dont have mosquiTOES.
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What are ants made of?
Antimatter.
I was milking a cow and a fly flew in its ear.
I thought, that’s weird, I just kept milking. A while later, the same fly showed up in the milk bucket. I guess that’s what they say: in one ear, out the udder.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
What's the opposite of an elephant?
An eleph-antonym.
Have you ever heard of the Poder bird?
It is also known as the Toucan
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
Where do bad beavers go?
They're dammed to hell.
How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
What do you call a large group of sick pandas?
A Pandamic.
What’s a Chinese bear’s favorite organ of the body?
The panda-creas.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
Where do parrots invest their money?
In the stork market
What do you call a luxurious ant?
Decad-ant.
How do you know you’ve been visited by a possessed rabbit? He leaves deviled eggs.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
That raven is so stubborn at times, he just needs to crow up.
Where does a bee use the bathroom?
BP
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
A mosquito was trying to land on my arm.
I shook it and said:
"Not on my watch."
Why are crows so interesting?
Just beCAWse
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Crowing, crowing, gone.
I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent.
Now it has no friends.