Why was the crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed.
What do you say to a bee that bothers you?
"Buzz off!"
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
I've always liked Buffalo Springfield....
....For What it's Worth.
My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop.
Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"
He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
The only things wolves have that no other animal on the face of the earth has are wolf cubs.
Why don't squirrels have any friends?
Because they drive everyone nuts.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
We did not understand what the mother turtle was saying because it was all in ridleys.
A beaver told a joke about a waterfall. It was a pour joke.
Did you hear about the woman who complained about her rabbit stew? She said there was a hare in her soup.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
What do you call Spider-Man at his full potential
Petest Parkest.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
What do whales like to chew?
Blubber gum.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
What do you call someone who tells too many dinosaur jokes?
A dino-bore.
I once tried crossing a flamingo with a cement mixer. Sounds crazy, but I really wanted a good brick layer.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
What do you call a bear that jumps but never lands?
Peter Panda.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
Crows go to get their shopping at Cawst Co.
What do you call a group of crows eating a box of corn flakes?
A cereal murder.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do crows take for their gut issues? crow-biotics.
Today I learned that mosquitoes love type-B blood.
Oops. sorry, type-O.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
No one really enjoys crying wolf. However, the boy did cry just to get a howling experience.
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
Flamingos are great at social events; they flamingle really well.
What did the nervous crow do? The crow proceeded with caw-tion.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
What do you call a turtle chef?
A slow cooker.
What is a dog’s favorite movie about dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Beaver Y.
Beaver Y. who?
Bea-ver-y quiet, you are in a library.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What’s a llama’s favorite movie?
Alpacalypse Now.
What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing? Her shadow!
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
Q: What does the tiger use to brush his mane?
A: A catacomb.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
How do you write a book about Bats? With a ghostwriter.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!