What do you call a Triceratops who scores his first goal? Dino- score!
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
All prominent werewolf movies are produced in howl-lywood.
What did the beaver say to the other beaver? I love you like no otter.
What do rodents say when they play bingo?
‘Eyes down for a full mouse’!
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
I threw water on a flamingo the other day
Now it's just an O.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
How can you tell if there is a dinosaur in bed with you? By the `D' on his pajamas.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
What planet does a seal live on?
EARFFF EARFFF EARFFFF.
What's a sheep's favorite art style?
Baa's Relief
A homicide detective walks into a bar and orders a beer.
"Hey look at those birds outside," the bartender comments to him. "Did you know that a group of crows like that is called a murder?"
"Well you can't be sure that's a murder," the detective says. "Unless there is probable caws."
What kind of turkey grows on a tree? Poultry.
What do sloths throw in winter? Slowballs.
What do rabbits say before they eat? Lettuce pray.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What is a snake’s favorite TV show?
Monty Python.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they’re full of antibodies.
All these years of technological developments and I still haven’t seen a colour photo of a zebra.
What do sloths make when it snows? Slow Angels.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
Why do worms have trouble getting up in the morning? Because the early bird catches the worm.
What do you call a stoned, dyslexic crow?
A hybrid
What does a tiger say to his friends before eating a meal? "Let us prey!"
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
I'm giving away a free legless parrot.
No perches necessary.
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken.
Can birds sell cereal to children?
I don't know if one can, but toucan.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What do zebras hold?
Ze boobs.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
Q. What can a buck take after a night of drinking at a stag party?
A. Elk-a-seltzer.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
Thought I saw a zebra in a field near my house recently, turned out to be a horse in his pyjamas.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
The gang of crows used a crowbar to break into the house.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.