Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
What is the name of the final exam you take when studying bird law? The crow bar.
What is a crows favorite vegetable?
Corn on the caawb.
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
The tiger asked his longtime friend, "Will you be my tigerlfriend."
How does a crab go when it's right?
"Aw, snap!"
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What do you call a bird that can fix anything?
Duck Tape.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Have you ever wondered which part of the flamingo has the most feathers? I found out once – turns out it’s the outside.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
The Beavers have the ugliest house in the neighborhood.
It’s a dam shame.
What do beavers like to put on their salads?
Branch dressing.
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
How do turtles communicate with each other?
With shell phones.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What did one frog say.to the other?
Time's sure fun when you're having flies.
Why don’t dolphins have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
Q. Which Greek eggplant dish do deer really eat up?
A. Moose-aka.
What do Chinese bears wear over their faces when they’re robbing banks?
Pandanas!
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
What do you call a flying monkey?
A hot air baboon.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats it's vegetables? A.brocileasoarus
Do you know what kind of stock to use when making neotropical near-passerine bird soup?
Doesnt matter, as long as you put Toucans in.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
TIL that, on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face? A mouse-tache!
Where do you get frog's eggs?
At the spawn shop.
What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's new?
What does a beaver from Philly drink?
Wooder.
How do you know if a tiger is male or female?
Throw a rock at it. If he runs it's a male. If she runs it's a female.
What did the snail say to the other who had hit him and run off? I'll get you next slime!
Once I told a joke about mosquitos...
It was malarious.
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
Which type of whale can fly?
Pilot whales.
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs!
What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.
What do you get when you cross two fish with two elephants?
A pair of swimming trunks.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid.